


Commentary: burn my bridges down (set me on fire)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: The Kids Are Alright [5]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Author Commentary, Ballroom Dancing, Bisexual Male Character, Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Gay Male Character, Interracial Relationship, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, United States of Auradon (Disney) Is Not Perfect, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-03-15 11:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Carlos is having a hard time adjusting to Auradon. He'd thought he was fine after everything Ben and he went through leading up to the Coronation, but now it seems like he's not good enough for anyone. The press hates him and royalty sneers at him. He can't possibly be enough for Ben, the King of Auradon, so there's only one place to go: back to the Isle he called home for sixteen years.Too bad Ben hasn't gotten this "not good enough" memo yet. He's not letting Carlos get hurt again, and neither will any of the other Lost kids. They chase after him the Isle, where curses abound and an old nemesis surfaces.Can Ben and Carlos make it out with their minds intact?Complete with author commentary.





	1. Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [burn my bridges down (set me on fire)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953534) by [aletterinthenameofsanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity). 



> Title is from "Burning Bridges" by OneRepublic.
> 
> This is the first time I've done a fic commentary. Probably not gonna get too many views, but I'm gonna put this out there so y'all can see what I was thinking when I was writing this. So, commentary is in bold and between brackets for easier reading.
> 
> "All of this takes place in a ‘verse where Carlos took Mal’s place in the whole love potion/romance drama. All magic done by Mal was done by Mal, but the “relationship” arc progressed between Ben and Carlos. Any other major changes, to plot or otherwise, will be described by flashback. Got it? Good."

_ Am I still not good enough? _

_ Am I still not worth that much? _

_ I'm sorry for the way my life turned out _

_ Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now _

_ Guess I'm still not good enough _

Everything's been boiling for months.

It started with the coronation, with Auradon’s reaction after Carlos showed up in pictures after the very public defeat of Maleficent with Ben's ring on his finger. Gossip sites featured headlines like  _ cruella’s child corrupting the king  _ and  _ de vil’s the devil _ .  **[I spent ages on these two headlines- I was trying to get them to follow alliteration, and it took** **_forever_ ** **.]** Carlos had ignored them at first, bolstered by the support of his best friends, his new friends (Doug, Lonnie, and Jane, who had been incredibly kind to a strange kid from the beginning), and, of course, the boy he loves. Ben had been the bright spot in a sea of dirty stares, the constant in a world of cruelty.  **[Fuck, Carlos is angsty. I was trying to portray a depressed state of mind, but** **_goddamn_ ** **I overloaded on the melodrama early on.]**

He’d been fine for a few weeks- settling into dating Ben, being free from the weight of his mother’s wishes, and having dinner with the Queen and King twice a week. Tuesdays involved all the Lost kids, and those were often insane fun, but Saturday nights were just him, Ben, and Ben’s parents. The first one had been insanely nerve wracking, with Carlos half expecting the King to get mad at some mistake and beast out at any moment as well as the fact that Ben’s parents are the  _ King and Queen  _ as well as the fact that these are Ben’s  _ parents  _ , and he’s never had to try to impress anyone’s parents before. Even after a few weeks of such dinners he’s still somewhat on the edge of his seat, half-expecting them to insult and punish him over some perceived slight. Months away from home haven’t relieved him of a lifetime of Cruella’s cruelty, and no matter how kind Ben’s parents are he’s still never completely at ease.  **[This shows my biggest frustration with the Descendants movie: the complete lack of consequences for the child abuse the VKs went through. This fic, before it developed a plot, was mainly about showing the devastating effects of such abuse on the kids’ mindsets.]**

(Still, he’s adjusting.)

The problem had truly begun when he'd gotten a video message from his mother a few weeks after the Coronation. He remembers her shocked expression at the news, her sneered comment about  _ never expecting the brat to make it anywhere, 'specially not near the throne.  _ He was cast back to the years on the Isle when the only friends he'd had were Jay, Mal, and Evie. He remembers the fact that the only one of them to be truly loved by a parent had been Evie (though the Evil Queen had definitely had her own ways of showing it). Jafar and Maleficent, though never loving, had been fond of Jay and Mal, treating them like apprentices rather than children but still treating them with some sense of caring.

Cruella de Vil, however, had treated her son like a slave, a creature that existed to serve her every whim. Carlos's earliest memories are scuttling about the Isle, fulfilling her every whim as she barked insults at him. If it hadn't been for him bumping into Mal, the head of a small gang of kids (Jay, Evie, and Uma until she'd broken off to follow in her mother’s footsteps and started terrorizing sailors), he'd probably ( _ definitely _ ) still be in that position today.  **[This characterization feeds the basis of my entire universe, from Carlos and Simon's backstory to the reasoning for Jay, Evie, Carlos, and Mal’s interactions with their parents, love interests, other Auradonians, and each other. The foundation for their gang starts here, with Cruella as the worst parent.)**

\---

Over the past few weeks Cruella’s words have been waiting in the back of Carlos’s mind, combining with the words of the media and the whispered gossip in halls to create a poison in Carlos's head. Even kissing Ben, cuddling with him in bed, going swimming with him, hadn't helped. Normally he'd be nothing but happy when spending time with his boyfriend, but right now all he can focus on is the words pounding through his head.

_ You're pathetic. _

_ Scrawny. Weak. Young. Villain. _

_ Not as talented as the others. _

**_Worthless_ ** **.**

The final straw had been at today's Visiting Day. He'd been alternating between Ben's side and hanging with his friends, even ending up in a intriguing conversation with Doug's Uncle Doc and Evie about the hydraulics operating the most outside the Academy. For the first time in weeks he'd been having a good time, enjoying himself and talking about the things he loves.  **[This was before I came up with Carlos’ love of theatre. I’d probably have to retcon this a bit later on, if I felt like putting in the effort, though to be honest Carlos** **_could_ ** **still have an interest in engineering if he wanted.]**

He'd taken a break, intent on heading back to Ben to talk to his boyfriend about their plans for dinner with his parents (and Maurice, who was so incredibly  _ awesome  _ that it erased the anxiety of spending time with the Queen and King just a little bit) that night, when he’d heard Queen Hilde, Audrey's grandmother, talking to Chad.

“ _ -That son of Cruella's a corruption, you know,” Queen Hilde says, and Carlos freezes, half way to Ben. He’s used to reading the words online, used to thinking them, but he hasn’t heard anything like it aloud since they all left the Isle. “It would have been better for everyone if he'd just stayed on the Isle. No wand fiasco, no villains dirtying up our lawns, and King Ben would still be dating my granddaughter instead of villain parasite.” _

_ “Couldn't agree more, Your Majesty,” Chad says, haughty tone in place. “The villains have been nothing but trouble- cheating in class, being undeniably rude at their first Visiting Day, even going so far as to interrupt Ben’s coronation in the way they did. I do believe that they’re taking advantage of our good King and Queen, especially that de Vil brat. Leeching off Ben like that? It’s despicable. When he was dating Audrey we were ensured of someone respectable on the throne.”  _ **[The bigotry of Auradonians really goes unnoticed in the films, and I really try to focus on it in this story.]**

_ Queen Hilde smiles. “You do know how to flatter my family, young man.” _

_ Though Carlos can't help but feel resentment to the words- he and his friends have been trying to improve themselves, whatever Queen Hilde may think- there's a certain truth to what they say. Audrey and Ben were the ideal couple, as Audrey is so fond of reminding him- they're both born royalty, raised by heroes and taught the right thing. They're both perfectly poised, always knowing to say the right thing to sway a conversation (rather than just rambling until someone has to shut them up), and they even look good together. _

_ (And, above all, Audrey can provide Ben with wealth, support, and a biological heir. Carlos can only give himself, and that's not enough.)  _ **[I always like the way this paragraph flowed. It’s kind of punchy, the ‘not enough’ line, and Carlos’ self-doubt and depression shows here, couched in semi-rational thoughts.]**

_ (Not for Ben, who deserves the world, and certainly not for the kingdom he is destined to rule.) _

_ “Carlos?” Ben asks from behind him, and Carlos whips around to face his boyfriend. _

_ He smiles, frayed nerves soothed mostly by Ben's smile. “Yes?” _

_ “I was wondering if you'd like to speak with Lonnie's mother? She's visiting for Family Day and she'd like to meet you.” Carlos almost shakes his head no (he'll embarrass Ben with his rambling, he knows he will) before Ben adds the kicker: “She says she wants to meet the man who stole the heart of her dearest godson.”  _ **[God, I love the idea that Ben’s godparents are the Lis. Not Cinderella and her Prince, not royalty, but the generals that worked their way up and defended a country.]**

_ And Ben's looking at him with gorgeous smile, blue eyes sparkling, and there's no way that Carlos can say no. Ben offers his arm out to Carlos, who loops his arm around his elbow. Ben then leans in and presses a kiss to Carlos’s cheek (leading his embarrassing blush to come running back) before leading his boyfriend over to meet General Li Mulan. _

Everyone’s words linger in the back of his mind throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, festering until they’ve hit a monstrous growth and they’re all Carlos can focus on.  **[‘A monstrous growth’ really sums up Carlos’ depressive thoughts in general, to be honest.]**

“You okay, darling?” Ben asks as they pull up to the castle for dinner. He puts a comforting hand on Carlos's thigh. “You've been kind of quiet.”

Carlos lets out a startled laugh. Normally people  _ want  _ him to be quiet. Even the Isle kids sometimes express frustration with his babbling. Ben's different, though- he’s never told Carlos to shut up, instead smiling fondly whenever Carlos speaks.  _ It's no wonder I'm in love with him.  _ “It's fine. Just been thinking, that's all.”

“Thinking 'bout what?” Ben asks, genuinely interested, and Carlos could nearly cry with how  _ perfect  _ this boy in front of him is.

“You,” he says, mostly-honest.

Ben blushes, and for such a normally confident man it's really kinda cute. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Carlos replies. "You're quite distracting."

"Can't be mad about that," Ben says, and presses a quick kiss to the corner of Carlos's lips.

_ You should _ , Carlos thinks.  _ You really should.  _ **[This is the moment Carlos truly decides to leave.]**

\---

That night Carlos waits for Ben to fall asleep before making his move.

“I'm sorry,” Carlos whispers as he slips out of Ben's arms, “But you deserve better.” He’s determined not to cry, but he can feel his eyes burning. He leans forward and gently brushes a kiss against Ben's cheek. “I love you.”

Carlos grabs his satchel, complete with Mal's Emergency Isle Return™ potion, and slips out the door.  **[Mal's Emergency Isle Return™ was an attempt at a spark of humor in a** **_really_ ** **dark scene. I’m not sure it worked.]**

He’s going back.


	2. Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote up most of the general ideas for this after only having seen the trailer for Descendants 2 once. General concepts, scenes, and certain lines were taken and twisted, but then my imagination got away from me and Chapter 7-on (with the exception of flashbacks) have nothing to do with the trailer. Just a warning for whoever plans on reading, you know.

_ And freedom _

_ And falling _

_ The feeling I thought was set in stone _

_ It slips through my fingers _

_ Trying hard to let go _

**[So I hadn't planned on doing commentary for the songs, but since I wrote each chapter to a specific song, I think it might be needed. This song really spoke to the tug and pull of Ben and Carlos, as well as their feelings for Auradon and the Isle. Also, to be perfectly honest, I just like the song and it was good to write to.]**

At first, Ben isn't worried. It is a bit strange that Carlos would disappear so early in the morning, especially without leaving a note, but sometimes Carlos gets so excited over an idea he dreamt up that he just  _ has _ to go visit Evie at once. Ben's sure that if he racks his mind he can think of at least one or two times it's happened.

Ben stretches and rolls out of bed. He goes and gets dressed, changing into something comfortable enough for a Sunday yet nice enough to wear later on for his date with Carlos. He combs his hair quickly, intent on heading to Mal and Evie's room as soon as possible so that he can see Carlos, and then-

Then he sees the ring- the one he gave Carlos at the coronation, the one he never takes off- sitting on the bedside table, and everything goes to shit.  **[As dramatic as this is, I always giggle slightly at the ‘everything goes to shit’ line. Ben acts like such a Prince, a King, sometimes, and this is his first curse word in the course of this story. Aw, he’s growing up.]**

\---

Ben bursts into Mal and Evie’s room, panting for breath after running so far. “Where's Carlos?” he shouts, worried out of his mind.

“Thought he was with you,” Jay instantly says, standing up, and Ben shakes his head.

"He's gone!" Ben shouts, raking his fingers through his hair anxiously, and Mal holds out a placating hand.

“Wait a moment,” Mal says, “Lets all just calm down for a moment. I've got a tracking spell somewhere in here and we can use that to figure out  where he's gone.” She flips the pages of the spellbook until she finds what's she's looking for. “Got it!” She raises a hand and chants, moving her fingers into indiscernible patterns:  _ “Our friend is gone, his presence we lack, show the way to bring him back.”  _ Her eyes glow a bright, poisonous green as he face scrunches up in concentration. “Almost there…” She gasps and drops the book, the glow in her eyes flickering out. “Shit! He's gone back to the Isle- his trail ends at the shield.”  **[Mal using magic is the best shit. Like, it’s treated like a curse, a bad thing, in the movies, but it’s a tool, like Lonnie’s sword or Ben’s diplomacy. As long as the right person has it, it’s a fine ability to have.]**

**[Also, the rhyme was fun. I think I was marathoning** **_Wizards of Waverly Place_ ** **at the time.]**

Ben's heart feels like it's been stabbed straight through. “Gods, no,” he gasps, “Why would he do that?” He glances up at Mal, a simultaneous ray of hope and despair rising in his chest. “Can you tell if he was taken?”

She gives Ben an apologetic look. “The trail’s bright blue- he went of his own free will.”  **[*Handwaving* magic. No good explanation for the color of the spell either than** **_that’s how it works._ ** **]**

“But why would he do that?” Ben remembers the ring, tucked into his blazer pocket, and pulls it out. “And why would he leave this behind?”

“Probably get stolen,” Jay mutters, utterly practical, but then his eyes go as wide as the girls’ and sputters, “Wait. Carlos  _ never  _ takes that thing off. Shit, that's insane. I mean, I know he was saying something about how trapped he felt just a few nights ago,” Jay says, “But I didn't think it was this bad.”

“Something must have happened,” Evie says, “Something big.”

“What’d you guys do yesterday?” Mal asks, instantly going into analysis mode. “From the time you woke up to the time you went to bed, hour by hour.”

“Well, first we woke up at nine and ate breakfast with you guys. Then we went back to my room and then we got ready for Visiting Day until 10:30-"

Mal raises an eyebrow. "What could you have done that took forty five minutes to get ready?"

Ben flushes. "We might have made out a bit."

"Ah," Mal says, and he thinks he detects the palest of pink dusting her cheeks. "Continue on."  **[Mal is really fucking gay in this universe. Not much fazes her- she’s a fae, a dragon, the leader of an Isle gang, and the daughter of Maleficent. She can fight any enemy with not a hint of fear, but the idea of intimacy? Truly terrifying.]**

"Then we went to Visiting Day, where everything went really well. Carlos spent most of the time talking to either Sir Doc and you, Evie, or talking with me. He seemed to have a good time..." Ben trails off as he remembers a moment that he had initially dismissed comes back to him. "There was one moment, though, during Visiting Day. Carlos had stopped in the middle of his walk back to talk to me. He seemed almost frozen, as if someone had said something shocking. He dismissed it when I asked, so I assumed he has just heard something that had startled him. Looking back, I don't know what to think."

"It could have been nothing," Jay admits, "So you probably shouldn't worry too much about not catching it then-"

Ben nearly groans as he remembers what happened after Visiting Day was over. “But then, on our way to my parents’ for dinner, he seemed a bit distressed, but I asked if he was okay and he said he was fine.”

“Defense mechanism,” Evie immediately clarifies, “Carlos feels guilty telling anyone when he feels bad ‘cause he thinks he might be ruining their happiness. It’s been a problem since we were kids.”  **[I wrote fics on extra scraps of paper during AP exams. I think this particular scene was written during the Psych exam.]**

"Oh gods," Ben mutters, stricken. "How did I not think of that? This is my fault. I've got to go apologize, bring him back.”

“Well, you’re not going on your own,” Evie immediately says, “We’re coming with. We're a pack- we don't abandon each other.”

“Good,” Ben says, not even thinking of protesting, “I don't know enough about the Isle to go alone.”

Jay snorts. “You can say that again.”

Ben doesn't rise to the bait. (He's spent enough time around the Lost kids to know that insults are how they show affection, that deprecating comments are how they show they care.)  **[This line came out of nowhere when I was writing this, but it works so well to explain their relationship, the Rotten Four and Ben. They don’t know how to be kind- they have to _work_ to be nice, to trust people, at least for awhile.]**

Evie casts a look up and down Ben, and he tries not to fidget under her examining gaze. "This won't cut it, Ben," she says, gesturing to his vest, tie, slacks, and button down.

"What won't cut it?" He asks, and she smirks. In this moment, she looks far too much like her girlfriend for comfort.

"The prince look," she says. "We need to make you look like a proper villain."

\---

“How does this look?” Ben asks, stepping into the room. He looks like some bizarre mix of Carlos and Jay’s styles, somehow in the colors he tends to wear, with a dark blue leather jacket like Carlos’s (and gods, does he miss his boyfriend), an undershirt like Jay’s, generic dark blue fingerless gloves, and pants that fall at some style between the boys’. The pants fit quite snugly, almost like Tourney pants, but are somehow designed like regular pants.

(And, dangling from a chain under his shirt, is Carlos’s ring. It rests next to his heart, the metal reminding him of every reason he’s going to the Isle.)  **[This line I put in after I wrote the later scene when Ben returns the ring to Carlos. The ring is kind of important to this ‘verse, now that I think about it.]**

“Here,” Jay says, and plops a dark blue beanie down on Ben’s head, “This should work.”

Mal looks him up and down once, twice, then says, “I suddenly get why Carlos thinks you’re hot.” Ben’s jaw drops and she smirks. “I’m gay, not blind, Ben. The villain look works well on you.”  **[God, I love this line. Mal’s delivery, deadpan and matter-of-fact, reads like I always imagined her character reading. She is warming up to Ben, but she doesn’t completely trust him yet. Teasing him is the best way to go.]**

Evie nods. “She’s not wrong. My handiwork did wonders to an already fine physique.” Ben blushes, and Evie smirks. “Yep, it works.”

Ben takes a deep breath. “Okay, focus,” he says, “Carlos is what’s important, not my appearance.”

“You really do love him, don’t you?” Jay asks, a tone of bewilderment to his tone, and Ben nods.

“He completes me,” Ben says simply, then frowns. “Wait, I've been telling him I love him for at least two months by now. How didn't you know that I love him?”

Jay shrugs, clearly uncomfortable, but Evie looks contrite. “It's an Isle thing,” she says, “People rarely say “I love you,” and when they do, they normally have an ulterior motive up their sleeve.”  **[Once again, the Isle fucked up these kids up so badly. God, the movies were so bad depicting this.]**

“Really?” Ben asks, aghast. Every time he thinks he's heard the extent of the abuse and horrors that his friends experienced on the Isle, they say something else that breaks his heart. “And Carlos went  _ back  _ to that wretched place?”

“It was his home for sixteen years,” Mal says, “Four months in Auradon isn't going to change that very quickly.”

“Even with how horribly Cruella treated him?”

She shrugs. “He was used to it. Until we got to Auradon, he didn't even realize that there was something wrong with it. All of our parents had some way of putting us down, keeping us in line- Cruella’s may have been a bit more extreme, but it's what he's used to. It's what he knows.”  **[Fuck it all, Carlos’ psyche is a minefield. These kids going to therapy later in this ‘verse is the only way for them to learn what was wrong and finally start to heal. Carlos was a literal** **_slave_ ** **to his mother, fucking hell.]**

Evie adds, “Ben, your parents are amazing, and we all appreciate everything they've done, but we're still not entirely used to kindness. Carlos has had the hardest time adjusting, and though everything you've done has helped-”

“- _ Definitely  _ helped, man,” Jay interjects, “Trust me on that.”

“-He’s still not in a completely healthy place mentally, and all the pressure being put on him by the media- either to be the perfect hero they want, or degrading him because he’s not what they expect- isn’t helping at all.”

Ben swallows. He knows that Carlos was having troubles, but he hadn't realized it had been this bad. What kind of boyfriend- what kind of  _ friend  _ \- is he that he never noticed?

"It's not your fault," Mal says, uncharacteristically compassionate, and Ben gives her a small smile.

"Thanks," he says, "Now let's go. I have a boyfriend to bring back home."  **[Aw, that’s adorable...Ben has absolutely no idea what’s about to happen to him.]**


	3. Low Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from song of same name by X Ambassadors.
> 
> Headcanons for this 'verse:
> 
> Ben's last name is Theroux
> 
> Gaston's last name is Le Pen
> 
> Uma's ship is called the Vengeance

_ I'm nothing but a low life _

_ Thinking 'bout my own life _

_ I'm trying to fight the good old fight _

_ But after it all, I'm still just a low life _

**[Other than the song just fitting** **_really_ ** **well, this is one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s good to write to and just to listen to in general.]**

If there's one thing above all others that Carlos misses about Auradon, it's Ben. Everything about Ben, from his cuddles to his laughter to his warmth and support, is missed here in the dreariness and drudgery. Ever since returning to his mother, to her harsh words and thoughtless comments, and resigning himself to laboring for her, he's missed Ben with a fierce ache.

He misses his friends too, certainly, as life on the Isle is far more tolerable with them than not, but he still has stuff of theirs in the closet he sleeps in. Mal's old jacket, Evie's hair comb, and one of Jay's beanies are all tucked under the floorboard in the corner under the blanket he uses as his bed (another thing he misses- beds. Actual beds with comforters and pillows and mattresses and heat in the night). He doesn't have anything of Ben's, even his ring, as he left that behind. He didn't want anyone to steal the ring, as precious as it was.

(The absence of its familiar weight on his finger is taking some getting used to, though. Maybe that's the hardest of all- that the comforting reassurance of Ben's love, even when he's not there, is gone.)  **[The song used for this chapter is one of my favorites of all time, but it’s also a downer. It really activated my angst drive.]**

He’s making his way through the market, carrying a basket of his mother’s furs. As soon as he’d arrived on the Isle his mother had put him to work, crowing about getting a set of hands to do the manual labor for her. He’d stood there in front of her, head bowed, as she’d plopped the basket in his arms and told him to hit up his old route of vendors. That leads to now, when he’s heading between Shan Yu’s fish-noodle stall and Cinderella’s Stepmother’s textile mill.  **[These were my first attempts at fleshing out the bones of the universe that the movies provided us with. The fish-noodle stall was a favorite early detail.]**

(It’s so strange, having met the heroes of each of these villain’s stories and the children of said villains. Carlos spent a childhood growing up on these streets, getting to know these villains, and to realize that there is a second side to these tales, sometimes right and sometimes wrong, is astounding.)

(The most astounding, though, has to be seeing Gaston Le Pen this morning. The man’s not the worst one out here- not by far (he just has a tendency to be over-flirtatious, and from the gossip that Carlos has listened to he never goes beyond flirting, at least with those who haven't consented to farther)- and having dated Ben Carlos feels the most twisted sort of kinship spring up between him and the Isle’s playboy. He knows what it’s like to fall for a member of the Theroux family, and though Gaston’s methods to try and win over Belle were  _ far  _ from okay, he vaguely understands the heartbreak that Gaston went through all those years ago.)  **[This was a tricky paragraph to write. The similarities between Gaston and Carlos are few and far between, but to Carlos, whose brain is rather skewed, they seem more present. He sees himself far more as a villain (though a weak one) than a hero, no matter how much he desires otherwise.]**

“Carlos!” A familiar voice shouts and launches himself at him. Carlos stumbles back a bit under the weight, a bit unused to Jay hugging him like this, but manages to keep his grip on the basket.

“What are you doing here?” Carlos asks, shocked, and Evie answers.

“We came here to look for you and bring you back,” she says, “ Ben and Mal split off soon after we got here and-”

This time the basket does slip from his hands. “Ben?” He croaks, the name of his boyfriend (boyfriend? Are they still together? Does him leaving to head back to the Isle count as a breakup?) leaving a raw taste in his mouth. “He's here? Why?”  **[His first response is always to worry about others, never himself. It’s a dangerous instinct.]**

“He was worried about you, stupid,” Jay says, slugging him in the arm. Carlos absorbs the blow, brain moving sluggishly to keep up with this strange piece of news.

“He came all the way to the Isle...for  _ me  _ ?”  **[And this is the most heartbreaking thing about this ‘verse, about Carlos and the Rotten Four in general: they can’t believe that someone would care enough about them to risk their lives for them. They can’t believe anyone would care.]**

Evie arches an eyebrow. “Yeah,” she says, tone a tad confused, “Why wouldn't he? He loves you just as much as we do, if not more. He cares about your safety, and we all know that the Isle’s not a safe place.”

“Yeah,” Carlos agrees, “ _ Especially  _ for a King like him.” His tone grows worried.  "He's never been here before, guys- he has no idea how harsh life here can be.”

“He’s got Mal,” Evie says, but her tone is less confident than before.

“And she's strong, yeah, but we've been softening in Auradon while everyone here has been getting even harder for months.” Carlos's tone is quiet but harsh, trying to keep anyone around them from learning too much about their vulnerabilities. “Mal's powerful but on Isle her magic’s severely weaker. Ben's even worse- he can fence, but beyond that he can't do shit in a fight. He's too nice, too trusting. He won't be looking for betrayal, won't be paying attention so that he can save his own neck. You've got to get him and yourselves out of here.”  **[An important detail that the movies glossed over: on the Isle, survival became instinctual. The Rotten Four were one of the most powerful gangs while there. But when they return in Descendants 2, they have been softened by living in Auradon. Their survival instinct, the one that made them so powerful, has been dulled.]**

“You're forgetting yourself,” Jay corrects, and Carlos gives him a sad smile.

“I don't think I belong in Auradon,” he says, knowing that his oldest friends will be able to translate the underlying currents of  _ I don't deserve to be in Auradon.  _ **[Yeah, Carlos’ depression is evident early on. He never thinks himself worthy, but not because of humility- because of mental illness. In no world, at least until he starts therapy, can he see himself as anything close to Good.]**

“Yes, you do,” Evie says firmly. “You belong in Auradon, with Ben and us, because you’re good. You don’t deserve exile for a crime you never committed, don’t deserve to be cut off from your family- _ us  _ \- and you  _ certainly  _ don’t deserve to be a slave for the rest of your life.”

That word-  _ slave  _ \- makes Carlos flinch. He's not accustomed to the word that was explained to them in History class, the custom that had faded out of use in Auradon but that's still a fully accepted practice on the Isle. It's so hard to reconcile a practice that he became so used to as a child to what Auradonians view as such a despicable concept. To him, that's how he was brought up. To Ben, Doug, Jane, and their teachers, it's something atrocious and evil.  **[Yet another** **_fuck the movies_ ** **moment. The slavery is apparent in the early scenes with the Villain parents, but never addressed. Also, the Isle kids surely don’t realize how wrong what their parents did is.]**

"Maybe-" he starts, but then he's cut off by the appearance of a familiar purple blur at the end of the market Street. "Is that Mal?"

Carlos isn't sure whether to smile or frown when Mal runs up to them. Ben's surely with her, and Carlos doesn't know if he can face his...Ben right now.  **[Are they boyfriends? Carlos has no idea.]** Then Carlos sees two things: there is no Ben by Mal's side, and there's a look of frustration and worry on her face that makes Carlos's stomach drop.

“It's Ben,” Mal says, “Uma’s taken him.”

Carlos's heart freezes. “No,” he gasps out, memories of Mal's island nemesis coming back to haunt him. “Not Ben.” He turns so that he's talking to all three of them. “We've got to save him. We  _ have  _ to save him!”  **[Uma fucked up his head when he was a kid. He knows what she’s capable of, what she feels no remorse for.]**

“No,” Mal says, voice firm, and Carlos draws up short. “This is between Uma and me.”

Carlos shakes his head. He may not be completely sure about much, but he does know that once Uma took Ben this became a lot more than a one-off rivalry.  “Not once she took Ben,” he says, back straightening, “Once Ben got taken, the whole game changed. I'm in this for better or worse, hell or high water, and so are they.” He gestures to Evie and Jay, who nod. Then he smiles. “And 'sides, it's never just been you and Uma. We're a pack, the four of us. Whenever one of us runs off into trouble, the others follow and support them. It's how we work. You mess with someone we love-”

“-we mess with you,” the other three finish, and Evie gives him a look.

“And it's the five of us, now, Carlos.” Carlos flashes her a grateful look and she smiles. “Now let’s go get those pirates and rescue your King!”

He resists the urge to correct her.  _ Not  _ my _ King _ , he wants to say, but doesn't. Instead he bites back his words and hurries after Mal as she turns on her heel and dashes off toward the docks, where the  _ Vengeance _ certainly lies docked.  **[Everyone else can see how much Ben cares about Carlos, but Carlos can’t see it himself. This is a symptom of his depression, as Ben’s feelings are** **_incredibly_ ** **obvious.]**


	4. Ways to be Wicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from song of the same name by the Cast of Descendents.  
> Apology for such a short chapter, but for POV purposes and the like it must fall this way. But on the bright side, two chapters in one day!

_This time the dark is finally getting your attention_

_We're wicked by the book and class is back in session_

_You like it, steal it, gotta beat 'em to the treasure_

_A rite of passage, bad just doesn't get much better_

**[At first,** **_Ways to be Wicked_ ** **just sounded like another anthemic song for this series. But there was one line that kept catching my mind, that inspired this entire fic: “Hear her voice in my head.” This song I actually used for the first chapter as well as this chapter, and it's a really good one for inspiration when you look at the lyrics. The lyrics, as opposed to the rhythm, are actually rather dark and work well with the background I've built up for this universe.]**

“Where's Carlos?” is the first words out of Ben's mouth when the blue-haired girl saunters into the brig where he's being held captive. His head feels like it's stuffed with apple jelly and his wrists are raw from chafing but he doesn't care. He needs to know where his boyfriend is. **[Ben cares a shit ton about literally everyone, but most especially Carlos and the rest of the Rotten Four. His first instinct is not himself, but others. Consummate Hufflepuff.**

**Also, there was never any doubt in Ben’s head about his and Carlos’ relationship status.]**

“The de Vil brat?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. Ben's ready to jump to Carlos's defense but she continues before he can. “You'd think you'd care more about your girlfriend.”

Now it's Ben's turn for confusion. “Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.” **[This entire chapter is actually half a joke on my part as it's completely ironic when contrasted with the movie, and also a short dive into Ben's head. He is so in love with Carlos that the idea of being with someone else genuinely confuses him.]**

“So you really don't care about Mal, do you?” The pirate scoffs. “Karma. Knew a king couldn't _possibly_ love a villain-”

“I don't know where you get your news, but I'm dating Carlos, not Mal, you crazy pirate.”

The pirate looks at him like he's out of his mind. “Dating the de Vil kid? Now I _know_ you Auradon 'heroes’ are insane. I may hate Mal, but I respect her strength. I _might_ be able to understand dating her. But de Vil?” She snorts. “Never in a million years would I date that scrawny, cowering, pathetic, _useless_ piece of-” **[no one on the Isle sees Carlos as anything more than the weakest of the Rotten Four. He's the Gang's Runner, the person who's the quickest, who is sent into other Gangs’ territory to scope out the Land. Runners are often underestimated, but none as much as Carlos, who is quiet and subservient to Cruella on top of being the least intimidating position in the gang.]**

Ben leaps up with a snarl only to get jerked back by the rope around his wrists. “You take that back, pirate,” he growls, and she just laughs. **[A bit of his father's beastiness shining through.]**

“Never, Beastie Boy,” she says with a smirk. She rubs her hands together. “Ooh, this is gonna be _fun_!”

“If you touch Carlos-” He starts, nightmare situations running through his head, and she flashes him a wicked smirk as she starts to head out the door.

“My feud’s with the daughter of Maleficent, _Prince_ ,” she says, spitting out his title like an insult, “But I'll be sure to say hello to your little boyfriend.” **[In this version of events, she** **_hates_ ** **Mal for not only running the most powerful gang on the Isle, but also for kicking her out of the (previously) Rotten Five. She has never forgiven Mal for keeping Carlos, who Uma sees as useless, but kicking Uma out for cursing Carlos.]**

Ben strains against his bonds, trying to summon up some of his father's strength, but falls back helplessly as the door clicks shut.

_Fuck._


	5. If Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics are from song of same name by Dove Cameron (from first Descendants movie).
> 
> First flashback to changes to first movie! First date fluff with slight angst due to perceived love potion effects.

  _Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen, yeah_

_Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?_

_If only I knew what my heart was telling me_

_Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream_

**[Not much needs to be said about this chapter's song, as it works so well and is also, you know, the song used for this scene in the movie.**

**Also, this chapter is the moment where I realized that just references to the changes made to the first movie wouldn't cut it. Flashbacks would be necessary, though the order of said flashbacks changed a number of times before I was done.]**

_Carlos can’t believe he’s actually going on a date with Ben, the boy he’s been crushing on since they arrived in Auradon, in just a few minutes. There’s a sense of nausea building up in his stomach, a general sense of anxiety tightening its grip on his chest, but despite all of this he still can't help but feel a thrill of anticipation as he looks in the mirror at his new outfit._

_“You look great, Carlos,” Evie says, smoothing down his new shirt, and he smiles._ **[Aw, they really care about each other. Though they don't always say it aloud, their movements speak volumes.]**

 _“Thanks, Evie,” he says, and tries to calm down the pounding in his chest. Anxiety is pushing at him, threatening to drive him into a panic attack, but he’s had enough experience over the years to know how to keep calm enough._ **[Wow, even before therapy he is so used to panic attacks that he knows immediately goes through the motions.]**

 _Mal's expression softens. “You'll do fine,” she says, tone reassuring, and moves to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. He flinches back and she freezes. “Carlos-” she starts to say, voice soft, but she's interrupted by a knock at the door._ **[And** **_Mal_ ** **\- though in this version she is rather emotionless externally, she** **_does_ ** **care. She just isn't used to showing it.]**

 _Carlos swallows. “That's my cue,” he says, and he tries not to sound like he's signing his own death warrant. (And he's_ not _, really- there were plenty of reasons why he volunteered for this, and not all of them were completely selfless.) “You have Dude?” He asks as he moves to answer the door._

 _Evie nods. “Mal and I will take care of him while you're gone.”_ **[When writing this, I constantly forgot about Dude save for the scene in the carriage leading up to the coronation. I'm pretty sure his inclusion was always one of the final things I did when writing a scene.]**

_Carlos nods, thankful, and then opens the door._

_“Oh, hi Ben,” Carlos says, greeting the prince awkwardly. Behind him he can hear the girls giggling, but he's too distracted by Ben in a very form-fitting blue button-down in gorgeous shade of blue that matches his eyes, a white leather jacket, and a pair of nice white pants._ **[I so rarely describe outfits in fics unless they have symbolic meaning. This case, however, was the clear exception. I just** **_really_ ** **like this outfit choice, okay, guys?]**

_“Now I get the difference between cute and handsome,” Ben says with a grin, eyes travelling up and down Carlos's outfit, and Carlos blushes. “You ready to go?”_

_Carlos nods. “I left Dude with Jay.” It was a pretty large sacrifice on Carlos's part, showing how much Carlos cares about this date as holding Dude's been helping with so much of Carlos's anxiety lately. “Just let me grab my jacket.”_ **[Oh god, my boy really cares. He’s fooling himself, but he can’t fool us.]**

_“Sounds good to me,” Ben says, and he stays there as Carlos turns around to grab his new leather jacket. Mal's already got it, though, as she hands over his jacket with a knowing grin._

_“Go have fun,” she says as Evie leans against Mal's back, hooking her chin over Mal's shoulder._ **[They’re together, and they’re happy, and they really** **_do_ ** **care about Carlos being happy. They’re all ready for their parents to take over, but for now they’re trying their best to be happy. They just want for Carlos the same thing that they have realized in each other. Teasing is really the only way that they know how to express this, however.]**

_“Thanks,” he says, and a moment later he's out in the hallway, jacket on with the door closed shut behind him. “Well,” he says, worrying nervously at his bottom lip, “Where are we going?”_

_“A picnic,” Ben says, grin proud, and Carlos’s brow furrows._

_“What’s that?” he asks, too curious to feel_ too _embarrassed._ **[I don’t think I can ever hammer it over the heads of the reader or the Auradonians enough just how much the Isle has screwed up these kids’ lives. They don’t know about so many simple pleasures. What’s a picnic? What are picnics?**

**What is love?]**

_Ben’s smile drops for just a second, expression turning a bit confused. “A picnic is where you go to some nice spot outside, lay down a blanket, and eat a meal together.”_

_“Sounds like fun,” Carlos says with a small smile, “Will there be chocolate?”_

_“Of course,” Ben says, grinning, and Carlos nods._ **[Ben just wants to make Carlos happy, that’s all. As long as he can do that, Ben doesn’t care what it takes.]**

_“Then good,” he says, and resolves not to worry about what is going to happen. “So, how are we getting there?”_

_“Glad you asked,” Ben says, and takes his hand. Carlos barely refrains from jumping, but manages to only flinch a little._ **[Yeah, fuck. I don’t think I really need to explain how much “manages to only flinch a little” expresses how much the Villains have screwed up their kids.]** _“I’ll show you.”_

_Then he leads Carlos down the hallway, and Carlos barely notices the journey to the parking lot as he’s too focused on the feeling of Ben’s hand in his, the feeling of Ben’s skin against his._

_Then they reach the parking lot and Ben heads to- “Is that a motorcycle?” Carlos gasps. It's kind of hard to wrap his mind around Ben, poised and regal, so prince-like, driving a vehicle that movies tell Carlos is a vehicle driven by rogues._ **[He’s only ever seen a motorcycle in movies that were made before the barrier went up. Think about that.]**

_Ben flashes him a grin. “Yeah,” he says, and opens up the small trunk attached to the back of the motorcycle. He pulls out two helmets-red and blue- and tosses Carlos the red one. Carlos catches a glimpse at the wicker basket at the bottom of the trunk before Ben closes it. “Up for a bit of risk?”_

_Carlos nearly laughs at Ben's idea of risk (_ every day on the Isle carried more risk than this, Ben, I was in a _gang_ , I easily could have been _killed_ any day _),_ **[Yeah. It’s getting to the point where if I stopped to point out every red flag, every** **_what the fuck were the King and Faery Godmother thinking_** **, we would be here all day. But also, this sets up the gangs concept that will be further expanded upon in this series.]** _instead nodding and slipping the helmet on. “I trust you,” he says. There are many things he's afraid of- people's expectations, heights, his mother, the other Lost kids’ parents, dogs (at least before), people touching him- but fast speeds? Those are fine._ **[It’s interesting how you can be scared of things that seem insignificant to others, but can be completely unfazed by the deathly and dreadful.]**

 _Ben offers a hand to Carlos and helps him onto the motorcycle, politely ignoring (or more likely the love potion is keeping him from noticing) Carlos’s awkwardness on riding such a vehicle. Then Ben steps onto the ledge hanging off of the side of the motorcycle and swings his legs over as gracefully as an old-fashioned prince would when mounting a horse._ **[Is he really that graceful, or is Carlos’ crush coloring his perceptions? Carlos has a history of being an unreliable narrator, after all.]** _He slides in front of Carlos, fastens a steady grip on the handlebars, and then calls, “You good?” over his shoulder as he starts up the motorcycle._

_“Yes!” Carlos shouts over the roar of the engine, and then they jet off._

_\---_

_They reach a parking lot with just a few spaces. Carlos catches sight of a path leading off of the path and- he grins- a portapotty. He hasn't seen one of those since he last set foot on the Isle, weeks ago._ **[An overabundance of portapotties= a sign of true evil.]**

 _Ben parks the motorcycle before hopping off and turning back to offer Carlos a hand getting off. Carlos blushes as he accepts Ben's offer, hand pressing against Ben's as he climbs down. Carlos's hands are trembling a bit as he unsnaps the clasp of the helmet from under his chin and pulls the helmet off._ **[For the first time, he’s not trembling beause he’s afraid of retaliation, but because of intimacy. Kind touches are so rare on the Isle, that the very act of offering a hand to help is insane.]** _He hands it to Ben, who takes both of their helmets and puts them away in the trunk. He pulls out the basket and turns to Carlos, a small smile on his lips._

_“You okay?” Ben asks, and Carlos nods, curling his fingers against his legs. Ben’s smile grows into an effervescent grin. “Okay, good. Wanna go eat?”_

_Carlos nods. “Sounds like fun.”_

_“Okay.” Ben gestures to the path that Carlos spotted as they came in. “The pond’s this way. You wanna to go first, or do you want to follow me? It's a single person path and I just want you to be comfortable.”_

_For a moment Carlos just stares at Ben in shock. No one asks_ him _what he wants to do, what he’s comfortable with. It's a strange concept, almost, the idea that_ Carlos _could have an idea worth considering._ **[I spent so long trying to decide Carlos’ response to Ben’s question. What would make Carlos feel safe? How much does he trust Ben? Is he willing to bare his back, make himself vulnerable to Ben? After a lifetime of distrust and constant threat of betrayal, it’s not so easy to give up your instincts.]** _He doesn't quite know what to do with such a question, so he just mentally flips a coin and says, “I'll walk behind? So you can guide us?”_

_Ben gives him the sweetest smile. “Whatever you say, darling.”_

_\---_

_“We have to cross a_ bridge _?” Carlos asks, incredulous, and Ben nods._ **[A bridge, the only ones of which he’s seen are that to Auradon and that to the docks. And he can’t swim. So…]**

_“A bit of adventure. You up to it?”_

_Carlos swallows, refusing to let fear overwhelm him. “Yeah,” he says, “Of course.”_

_“You sure?” Ben asks, and Carlos nods._

_“Yeah,” he says, and even he can’t tell if the eagerness in his voice is real or faked. “Let's do this thing!”_

_So Ben leads them across, actually spending most of the journey facing backwards so that he can talk to Carlos. It makes Carlos's heart panic with every step, thudding horribly in his chest as Ben keeps risking life and limb just to_ see _Carlos as they talk._ **[He’s not actually risking his** **_life_ ** **, but he** **_is_ ** **doing stupid things that could endanger himself just to make Carlos feel better. So, there is that.]**

_\---_

_“You know what the reason is why I chose this spot?” Ben asks after they've eaten a little at the picnic spot, and Carlos shrugs._

_“Why?”_

_“A spectacular view to compliment the one I was already getting-” Ben winks and Carlos has to blush at this comment. “-and, a chance to swim!”_ **[Ben isn’t really as smooth as he thinks, but he and Carlos are both cheesy romantics so it works.]**

_Ben strips down to his boxers- blue with gold crowns embroidered on, how cliche- and jumps in. Carlos laughs at how silly and majestic Ben somehow manages to look at the same time. Ben starts to tread water, turning to face Carlos._

_“Come on in, Carlos,” Ben says with a wink, “The water’s fine!”_

_“Sorry,” Carlos says, and he really is, “I can’t swim. Never learned how.”_

_Ben raises an eyebrow. “But you grew up on a island.”_

_“Surrounded by a magical forcefield that kept me from going past a little ways into the harbor. And besides-” Carlos winces at how much of a wimp he’s going to sound like, “-I had to help out my mother. I didn’t have time for learning, even if I could.”_ **[I couldn’t stop the angsting but for so long, could I?]**

_Ben frowns. “You helped your mother that much?”_

_Carlos shrugs. “Everyone helps out their parents on the Isle. I might have worked a_ bit _longer than Evie, Jay, or Mal, but that’s because I don’t have any special talents like they do. I can carry wares, run decently fast, but I can’t pickpocket or sew complicated designs or make potions. I’m just the errands boy.”_ **[Self-deprecation is something that Carlos is horribly good at. He doesn’t know how to stop, it’s been trained so deep into his thoughts.]**

 _“You’re not just the errands boy,” Ben says emphatically, and for just a moment Carlos can pretend that Ben’s genuinely offended for him. “You’re much, much more than that.”_ **[Remember, the potion has washed off by now. Make of the rest of this conversation what you will.]**

_Carlos smiles. “Thanks.”_

_“I mean it, Carlos,” Ben says, tone serious, and Carlos's heart can barely handle these compliments that he knows he doesn't deserve._ **[He does, he truly does, but he just doesn’t realize it.]**

_“Thank you again, then,” Carlos says, more firmly this time, and Ben nods._

_“No problem,” he says, flashing Carlos a grin, and then ducks back under the water._

_A few seconds go by, and then: oh gods-_ Ben’s not coming up _._

Fuck fuck fuck- **[He can’t let Ben drown- Ben is** **_Good_** **, and the Prince, and someone worth saving, and Carlos is not. At least, not as he sees it.]**

 _Carlos immediately sheds his jacket and jumps into the pool, flailing about as he tries to find Ben. There, a glint of gold- now to figure out how to swim. Move left arm? Move right? Soon enough he’s flailing about, chest getting tighter as he can’t breathe, and this was a_ really _stupid idea-_ **[He didn’t think, didn’t hesitate, just** **_did_** **. Kind of heroic, eh? Also, I love the way this paragraph flows. I was trying to communicate the chaos of his thoughts in this moment.]**

_Suddenly there are strong arms around him and he’s breaking the surface next to the rock platform. Ben’s next to him, holding onto his waist, and he helps Carlos get up next to picnic blanket where he sits, gasping for breath._

_“You jumped in, Carlos?” Ben asks, and Carlos looks down to find Ben with an expression of incredible concern on his face. “I thought you couldn’t swim.”_

_“I can’t,” Carlos gasps out, “But you weren’t coming up, and I was worried-”_

_Ben’s face softens. “I was getting this for you,” he says, and holds up a small, glowing gem. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but I didn’t count on you being a hero-”_ **[He’s telling the truth, but he says it so casually. He doesn't realize how insane an idea being a ‘Hero’ is for the Isle kids.]**

_Everything freezes, and for a moment all Carlos can hear is the blood pounding in his ears. “A hero?” he asks, surprise flooding his voice, and Ben nods._

_“That was the bravest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” Ben says, a smile on his face, and Carlos can feel the heat rushing up his cheeks._ **[The love potion’s gone and Ben is being completely honest. Carlos doesn’t know this, though.]**

_“It can’t be,” Carlos says, instinctively rejecting the compliment, but Ben shakes his head as he treads water._

_“It totally is,” he disagrees, and then hoists himself up onto the the platform. For a moment Carlos’ mind goes blank as he stares at Ben’s perfectly toned abs, glistening in the sunlight. Then Ben’s sitting next to Carlos, and a moment later his hand’s on Carlos’s cheek. Ben looks at Carlos for a long moment and then leans in. A moment later Ben’s lips are on Carlos’s, and_ shit _, this is what kissing feels like. Carlos’s eyes flutter shut as he leans into the kiss, hands moving to steady himself. He kind of wants to stay here forever, lips against Ben’s, warm and happy and safe._ **[This is Carlos’ first kiss. This is the first time he’s ever allowed himself to feel pleasure, to indulge in love and affection. And it** **_hurts_ ** **, because he thinks this is just a potion. This is only for the wand. Carlos’ first kiss is ruined by every bad thought running through his head.]**

_Eventually, though, he has to breathe. They lean away, and Carlos feels a keen of loss. “That was amazing,” Ben says, and for a moment Carlos basks in the fact that he can provoke such a response._

_Then reality crashes in, reminding him of how he did this: a love potion. Nothing Ben feels is real, and Carlos just gave away his first kiss to a foolish wish and a scheme to steal a wand._ **[Like I said, Ben is being honest, but Carlos just thinks the potion is making him say such things. It further reinforces Carlos’ idea that he can’t do anything worth anything on his own merit.]**

_Ben frowns. “Carlos,” he says, hand still on Carlos’s cheek, “You okay?”_

_Carlos swallows back despair. “Yeah,” he says, “I’m fine.”_

_Ben's face softens. “Wanna grab a bite, then?” It's clear that he's avoiding the subject, but Carlos can't help but be fine with that._ **[Carlos wants to compartamentalize, to ignore the bad thoughts just as much as Ben is willing to let him.]**

 _“Sure,” he says, smile returning as he forces himself not to think about the potion and the futility of the situation. “Got any chocolate?”_ **[God, that damn chocolate.]**

_“Of course,” Ben says, smile brightening. “And I even have different kinds. Just let me grab my clothes and then we can eat?”_

_Carlos perks up at the mention of_ multiple kinds _of chocolate, but blushes at the reminder of Ben’s state of dress. Even without his jacket on, Carlos is still pretty covered up. T-shirt, trousers, belt, boots- Carlos has never been too comfortable with baring his body. For a moment, as Ben tugs on his pants and shirt, Carlos sits in frustration over the state of his body. He’s not that fit- years on the Isle didn't exactly provide the proper nutrition for that, much less when Cruella took most of the food for herself (talking about needing it to keep her complexion perfect). There's also the fact that Carlos has never been a muscular person as well as the fact that, unlike Jay, he's not a fighter. He doesn't jump into fights; instead, he runs away. His body, wiry instead of muscular, shows this discrepancy quite clearly._ **[Carlos has body-image issues only compounded by his depression. He can’t see all the things about himself that are actually good- he can only see himself in the most negative way.]**

_Ben plops down next to him (okay so “plop” isn’t the best word, as Ben is far too graceful for that), buttons on his shirt undone and a tupperware container in his hand. “Here,” he says, grinning conspiratorially, “I've got some chocolate right in this tupperware.”_

_Carlos eyes the odd-shaped chocolate lumps with trepidation, but when Ben takes one out and offers it to him he takes it and bites down immediately. Flavor bursts across his tongue, somewhere between sour and sweet, quickly chased by the sweet, cool taste of chocolate._ **[Full confession? I really like chocolate-covered strawberries and I may have spent a little too long writing this description because I love them so much.]**

_“Wow,” he mutters, finishing the second bite, “What was that?”_

_“Chocolate-covered strawberry.”_

_“It’s_ amazing.” **[Like I said.]**

 _Ben grins and pops one in his own mouth. Carlos can’t help but stare at his lips as he does so, drawn in by his mouth and the prospect of a repeat of the earlier kiss._ **[He wants it, even if he thinks it’s Bad. He takes what happiness he can get.]**

_Ben notices Carlos's gaze and grins. “Wanna go for another?” From the way he’s staring at Carlos’s lips, it’s clear what ‘other’ he’s referring to- and it’s not strawberries._

_Carlos swallows back his anxiety, takes a deep breath to steady his racing heart, and nods. Then Ben leans in and-_

_He can learn to live with this, if only for a few more days, because this, right here, is the most wonderful he’s ever felt in his entire life._ **[Yeah, his ethics are not the most sound in the world, and you shouldn’t forgive him entirely- he thinks he’s coercing a kiss out of someone under the influence and all- but we should forgive him at least a little. He has no base of morality to compare to. This is probably the least ethically compromised option. And with the idea that the villain parents are coming back soon, to give everyone an unhappily-ever-after, this is probably the best Carlos can hope for.]**


	6. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from song of the same name by Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original chapter 6 is taking forever to finish as I've been really sick, so I'm switching chapters 6 & 7 (order doesn't really matter as this one's a flashback) so that you all will get something and I don't have to feel so guilty. Hope you all enjoy!

 

_ Why can't we give love that one more chance? _

_ Because love's such an old fashioned word _

_ And love dares you to care for _

_ The people on the (people on streets) edge of the night _

_ And love (people on streets) dares you to change our way of _

_ Caring about ourselves _

**[Okay, so full disclosure: the original song for this chapter was** **_I Walk The Line_ ** **by Halsey, which fit really well with the overall story, but this chapter, though starting off darkish...wait,** **_I Walk The Line_ ** **fits better with the tone of this chapter, but** **_I Walk the Line’s_ ** **lyrics don’t work as well as the lyrics for** **_Under Pressure._ ** **]**

Sitting in the hold of a ship gives one lots of time to think, and most of Ben’s thoughts are occupied by Carlos (as they often are, nowadays).

The first time Carlos had met Ben’s parents had been...interesting, to say the least.

_ “Oh, by the way, I’ve been meaning to tell you guys,” Ben says, standing between his parents as a cameraman prepares to take a photo of them, “I’ve got a boyfriend.”  _ **[This line is such a cliche, but c’mon, I couldn’t resist.]**

_ His parents make various pleased sounds, topped off by his mom, the nicest person he’s met, shocking him into having to suppress his laughter when she says, “Oh, I never meant to say anything, but I never quite liked that Audrey girl. Always struck me as a bit self-absorbed. Fake smile.  _ And  _ a kiss-up.”  _ **[This now reads to me like a bit of slut-shaming on both mine and the Queen’s part, and that’s the exact opposite of an impression than I wanted to give. Oh, well.]**

_ “Then you’ll  _ love  _ my new boyfriend,” Ben says with a smile, waiting for the cameraman to finish the countdown and take the picture, “He’s the complete opposite of self-absorbed.” If their date had shown Ben anything- other than that apparently love potions don’t work when you already have a crush on someone- it’s that Carlos is selfless and brave. He hadn’t been able to swim and yet he’d jumped in after Ben when he’d thought Ben was drowning- it had been the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. _

_ “Oh really?” His dad asks, fixing a smile to his face as the cameraman hits  _ 1  _. The cameraman flashes a thumbs up and Dad turns to him. “Who is it?”  _ **[They automatically assume he’s dating an Auradonian. I don’t think that the possibility of it being a VK even enters their mind.]**

_ “Carlos de Vil,” he says, missing his parents exchanging shocked glances behind his back as he turns to look for Carlos. He spots him next to Evie, holding Dude as Jay tries to knock back as much chocolate as possible while Mal eggs him on. It’s almost insanely domestic, and it makes him incredibly happy to see the Lost kids happy.  _ **[The calm before the storm. It’s kind of adorable, and really, it’s probably the only point in the entire first movie where the VKs can be classed as ‘adorable.’]** _ “In fact, there he is. You can meet him now.” Ben waves, attracting Carlos’s attention. “Carlos, c’mere!” _

_ Carlos glances once at Evie, who pats him reassuringly on the shoulder, before heading over to Ben and his parents. The look on his face can only be described as anxious or, if one were to go so far, scared. But Carlos has no reason to be scared- Ben’s parents are as nice as they come.  _ **[Ben really cares about Carlos, but he doesn’t fully understand how bad the villains are yet. He won’t truly until visiting the Isle to rescue Carlos, until he sits in on VK-parent video talks, until he sits on on group therapy sessions with VKs.]**

_ Ben wraps an arm around Carlos’s shoulder as soon as he reaches them. “Mom, Dad,” he says, “I’d like you to meet Carlos de Vil, my boyfriend. Carlos, this is Mom and Dad.” _

_ For a moment Carlos seems to be looking everywhere for an answer to whatever problem he has before he sets Dude down and holds out a hand to Ben’s parents. (Ben has to bite back laughter- Carlos just looks so adorable.)  _ **[Aw...you know shit’s gonna go down soon when things seem this peaceful.]** _ “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesties,” he says slowly as if nervous of messing up, “I really want to bow and make a good impression, but I have your son’s arm ‘round my shoulders so I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” _

_ His Mom seems to be in a bit of shock at the moment, but she only takes a moment to gape at Carlos before she takes his hand and shakes it. “Nice to meet you, Mr. de Vil,” she says, cordial as always. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay in Auradon.”  _ **[Well, at least they do try. Then again, I wrote this scene before I really started developing personal...resentment, shall we say, with Belle and Adam.]**

_ “I do really like it here,” Carlos says, “Much better than the Isle. No errands to run, no worrying about food, no mother.” He grins. “And there’s chocolate here, which was pretty awesome to discover as we don’t have any on the Isle. And Ben showed me that dogs are perfectly fine, no need to worry about the vicious pack animals anymore.” _

_ And that’s all it takes for his Dad to soften too. At the mention of a bad childhood, dogs, and chocolate, Carlos somehow manages to hit all of Dad’s soft spots.  _ **[King Adam thinks he’s understanding, but no man who can trap hundreds of kids on an Isle with the worst villains in history deserves any kind of sympathy.**

**...Like I said, I wrote this before I developed beef with King Adam. If I was to write this scene today, it would probably play out quite a bit different.]**

_ “You enjoy chocolate?” the King asks, an undercurrent of understanding running through his voice. _

_ Carlos nods. “It's delicious. We don't have anything like it on the Isle-” _

_ Then, suddenly, their impromptu meet-up gets interrupted by Queen Hilde’s shout of “You!” from across the field. Ben looks over to see Mal standing there, a walking stick in hand, as Audrey leans back from telling her grandmother something. Ben knows, just from looking at their postures, that this has to be Audrey’s fault. Mal and the other Lost kids had promised that they’d be on their best behavior, not try and provoke any trouble, and if there’s one thing he knows Audrey’s capable of it’s revenge.  _ **[A bit unfair, but true. Also, when I was writing this scene, it took me like an hour and a half to rewrite what can’t be more than five minutes of dialogue. It’s because I kept having to rewind the scene, to get the proper feeling out of each character and rewriting from the perspective that Mal is Ben’s friend, not his girlfriend. Mal, at least in this version, is a calculating leader who doesn’t know how to express vulnerability well. Carlos, on the other hand, can only see himself as vulnerable. Ben does not know this very well, but he can understand what Mal and Carlos can’t- that it’s okay to accept help, to** **_give_ ** **help to friends. He wants to help the four of these kids not just because he’s responsible for them, but because they’re his friends. And** **_people_ ** **.**

**(And victims.)]**

_ Carlos stiffens before sliding out from under Ben’s arm. “Shit, Mal’s in trouble,” he says, polite smile replaced by an anxious frown. “I’ve gotta go help.” He flashes Ben’s parents a quick smile (that resembles a grimace more than anything happy) and offers up a quick, “Nice to meet you both,” before running off towards Mal, Dude in his arms.  _ **[Carlos’ number one priority is always his friends, not himself.]**

_ “Carlos seems nice-” his mother starts to say, but Ben’s as much a part of any of the Lost kids’ trouble as they are. He promised that nothing would happen between them and the citizens of Auradon (even the ones who seriously deserve it, like Audrey), and he has to go help. He doesn’t want anyone getting hurt, especially these kids who are far more vulnerable than anyone else seems to realize.  _ **[I’m just now realizing that explaining everything in one lump paragraph doesn’t give me anything to talk about in late parts of this scene. Oh, well, I’ll try.]**

_ “Sorry, mom, but I’ve gotta go help too. Be back in a moment!” He runs off, not caring to see what his parents do. His focus is entirely on Mal, standing frozen as Queen Hilde speaks, and Carlos, who freezes right on this side of Audrey. _

_ He reaches everyone just as Queen Hilde says, “-you’ve stayed so young.” _

_ Gods, no.  _ **[Ben** **_knows_ ** **what the problem is- he’s not an idiot. Though he’s not as hyperaware of how the VKs are treated as the VKs themselves are, he does understand how the prejudice against villain kids works. He knows what is about to go down, even if he’s denying it to himself.]**

_ Ben quickly rushes forward and interjects before anything can happen. “Queen Hilde, it’s okay. I apologize for the misconception, Maleficent’s still on the Isle. This is Mal, her  _ daughter.”  _ He slings a friendly arm around her shoulder, nothing like the closer one he’d wrapped around Carlos’s shoulders just a moment ago but enough to show his support.  _ “ _ Remember my proclamation that we would give the new generation a chance?”  _ **[See? Friend Ben, showing his support. They don’t have to have a romantic interest in each other to protect/support each other.]**

_ “A chance to what, Ben?” Queen Hilde begins, and Ben knows from the hostile tone in her voice that she’s clearly still holding a grudge against Mal’s mother- the same one that Audrey holds- that she’s projecting onto Mal. “Destroy us?” Queen Hilde turns to Fairy Godmother as Carlos, Evie, and Jay stand frozen still just beyond, dark colors separating them from a sea of pastels. “You remember the poisoned apples, don’t you? And the spells?” She repeats as she turns to Mal, tone quieter yet harder than a moment before: “The spells. My daughter was raised by faeries because of your mother’s curse. So her first words, her first steps, I missed. It. ALL.” By this points she’s nearly shouting into Mal’s face, and all Ben can see is Carlos’s face behind her, his fingers white-knuckled in Dude’s fur. He thinks about all the first words and steps that Cruella never cared about, about all of Lost kids’ firsts that their parents never bothered to remember. The villains that hurt the people of Auradon hurt their own children, too, and that’s something that Queen Hilde, Audrey, Chad, and so many others are failing to grasp.  _ **[And this-** **_this_ ** **is what the movie fails to realize. The villains are villains not just to the ‘heroes’ but to their children as well.]**

_ Queen Hilde turns to start crying into her granddaughter’s shoulder and Mal at least recognizes this emotional cue. She reaches out, trying to help, saying, “I’m so sorry,” but then Chad butts in. _

_ “No,” Chad says, jumping in between Mal, who’s just trying to help, and Queen Hilde, who’s having to grieve all over again.  _ **[Queen Hilde is not a villain, at least from Ben’s point of view- she is blinded by grief and decades of hatred. She is** **_not_ ** **blameless, though- treating Mal as she does now, and Carlos as she does later, blaming them for the sins of their parents, is close-minded and** **_not_ ** **okay.]** _ “You stay away from her!” _

_ Ben moves in between Chad and Mal, trying to protect his new friend from the idiocy of his old friend.  _ **[It’s been awhile since I wrote this, so I’m not sure whether Ben is rejecting Chad by calling him ‘his old friend’ or just referring to the age of their friendship.]** _ “Don’t do this, man. She’s just trying to help-” _

_ “What?” Chad says, “They were raised by their parents, Ben. What do you think villains teach their kids, huh?” Mal flinches against his side, and as Ben glances over at Carlos he can see a similar reaction from him as he ducks his head down as if ashamed.  _ **[Carlos** **_is_ ** **ahamed. He is thinking about potions and love spells, of what he did to get Ben on his side. What’s also important, though, is Mal’s flinch. She’s trying to be as Good as possible until their parents take over again.]** _ Everything in Ben is crying out, wanting to go and hug Carlos, but he remembers Mal by his side and he knows that he has to protect his friend right now.  _ **[Ben has a sense of honor and loyalty that cannot be easily replicated. He is in love, though, and seeing Carlos hurt upsets him.]** _ “Kindness? Fairplay? No way, okay? Uh-uh.” He’s getting louder and louder, attracting attention from all around the field as he gestures dramatically. Chad’s always had his charisma, even if he never had the brains to back it up with. But then Chad does the unacceptable- he turns to look beyond Queen Hilde, at Carlos.  _ **[You** **_do not_ ** **target the boy Ben loves, you just** **_don’t_ ** **. Not just because Ben loves him, but Ben recognizes that Carlos is the most vulnerable of the VKs.]** _ “You stole someone’s boyfriend, de Vil.” _

_ “Hey!” Ben interrupts, dropping his arm from Mal’s shoulder, about to jump to Carlos’s defense, but Chad steamrolls over him. _

_ Chad turns and points to Jay. “  _ You  _ enjoy hurting people.” Then he gestures to Evie. “And you- you’re nothing but a golddigger and a cheater.” _

_ Ben wants nothing more than to punch that smug smirk off of Chad's face, but Mal gets there first. “  _ Mirror, reflect, lend me a hand- show me the greatest brute in the land!”  _ Evie’s magic mirror spirals up out of bag and into her hand. She shoves it in Chad’s face, showing him his own reflection, clear as day, but then he whacks it out of her grasp. Jay immediately goes for the jugular, grabbing Chad by his lapels, and Evie squirts some kind of mist in his face when he goes for Jay’s face. Chad slumps back and the girls start crowding around.  _ **[So, I wrote this paragraph before rewatching the scene for the rest of the dialgoue and didn’t feel like rewriting it, which is why Evie’s spell is different than the movie.]**

_ Evie grabs her girlfriend’s hand, says, “Come on, Mal,” and escapes, shouting, “Jay!” after her. The tall boy takes off running, ignoring Ben’s shout of “Guys!” Jay easily catches up with the girls, and then there’s Carlos right behind. _

_ He pauses for a moment, agony plain on his face as he presses a quick kiss to Ben’s cheek. “I’ve gotta go,” he says apologetically before running off after the other Lost kids.  _ **[And here is the tragedy: Carlos is falling in love at the same time that he is serving his mother’s wishes. Here is the actions of his that most clearly showcase his inner turmoil, up until the coronation itself. Carlos knows he has to run after his friends, that he feels far more loyalty to his gang, his pack, his** **_family_ ** **than to the boy he’s been potioning, but he can’t help himself. Despite his best wishes, he is falling in love.]** _ Ben doesn’t blame him in the least- the Lost kids are a pack, used to only having each other to rely on, and despite the progress he’s made (or thought he had, up until this moment) they always help each other, just the four of them against the world.  _ **[And at least Ben understands this.]**

_ He turns to look at Chad, the bastard, who’s already waking up, and then turns to look at his parents. They don’t seem to know quite what to do with this situation either, or at least until his dad says: “I feared something like this would happen.”  _ **[I always** **_hated_ ** **how this scene ended in the movie. Ben should have stood up for the VKs.** **_Nothing_ ** **that happens in this scene is their fault- it’s just self-defense. The rest of this scene I wrote out of pure pissed-offedness.]**

_ “This isn’t their fault!” Ben shouts, “They were provoked! You saw it- Chad went after them. He went after Jay and Evie and Mal, who up until he provoked them had done nothing to hurt anyone, and he went after Carlos, my  _ boyfriend,  _ over the fact that he’d done nothing more than  _ date  _ me! How in Auradon could anyone possibly blame  _ them?”  **[And there it is- everything I feel when watching the movie. This speech on Ben’s part is a combination of what he would feel and what** **_I_ ** **felt.]**

_ His father clearly hadn’t expected that kind of response (or at least that  _ level  _ of response) as he blinks at Ben for a moment, momentarily at a loss for words. This makes for a good moment for Ben to continue talking, this time turning and speaking directly to a dumbfounded Chad. “You call yourself a hero, a prince, and yet you go after people where they're most vulnerable. You sling prejudiced accusations like fact, treat those who have less than you like they  _ are  _ less than you.” _

_Ben turns back to his father. “If that's what you were afraid of- that our people would turn into bullies, insulting and degrading people who are trying their damndest to make themselves better, then yes, you were right to be afraid. If you were afraid that, when attacked, kids who don't know any better would lash out in fear, then yes, you were right to be afraid. But if you were afraid of the Lost children attacking the people of Auradon without provocation, then no, you were_ not _right to be afraid.”_ **[Once again, this speech was everything I felt, and I tried to filter it through the way Ben, headstrong and righteous and just trying to be Good would see things. Also, it places as much of the blame on Auradonians as it does on the VKs, if not more, and it** ** _works._** **]**

_ Ben finally runs out of breath to speak and finds everyone staring at him. Most look at him like he's grown a second head, but a few- Doug, Lonnie, and his parents- look at him with respect.  _ **[Early hints at Doug/Lonnie/Jay were kind of fun to sneak in, and they're especially gratifying when I'm reading this again so long afterward.]**

_ “That was not what I was expecting, son,” His dad says, and Ben hurries to reply, but Dad holds up his hand, effectively shutting Ben up, “Or is this what I’d been planning on saying, but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t the right thing. You’re right- we all were too hasty to judge those children. They haven’t done anything to us- save for these last few minutes, and you’re right, they  _ were  _ provoked. I'm sorry that I nearly rushed to judgement, son.” _

_ Ben, who has only had his father apologize to him once or twice in his life, is the one now struck speechless.  _ **[King Adam is not very big on apologies, and I think this fits very well in with someone who would exile entire populations of innocent children to an Isle to live in poverty...and wow, do I have issues with that man.]**

_ His mom smiles and offers up a few last words: “We'll be looking forward to seeing Carlos at the Coronation, Ben. He seems like a fine young man, and we'll be happy to see him more.”  _ **[Also something I found missing from the movie: acceptance by Ben's parents of his significant other, not just judgement. They are supposed to be understanding and supportive, especially Belle. They are the poster children of the message of** **_It's what's on the inside that counts_ ** **. The movie should handled that a bit better.]**

_ Ben grins. “Thanks, Mom and Dad.” _

_ His parents smile at him before turning and leaving, heading towards the crowd. Ben, on the other hand, casts one last glance at Chad and Audrey before turning around and heading after the Lost kids.  _ **[This really shows his priorities in a way that movie didn't. Chasing after Carlos and the VKs showed where his sympathies truly lay, especially since he's not under the influence of the love potion.]**

_ He  _ has  _ to talk to Carlos, set things straight, or else he'll never be able to forgive himself. _


	7. Savages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from song of the same name by Marina & the Diamonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't do action sequences. I just don't. When my novel comes out (someday, *crosses fingers*) it will become readily apparent that I prefer inner monologues and metaphors to actual action narration. I'm a writer who likes to focus on the causes and effects of a particular event on a character, not the event itself. I'm kind of like an Impressionist author, in a way, if that makes any sense. Basically this is all a preface to say that I'm sorry if the following scene isn't up to snuff. I know which parts of writing for this story I like, and this just wasn't one of them. But hey, this chapter's song is great so...yay?

 

_ Underneath it all, we’re just savages… _

_ How could we expect anything at all? _

_ We’re just animals still learning how to crawl _

_ Truth is in us all, cradle to the grave _

_ We’re just animals still learning to behave _

**[This song is absolutely perfect for the villains. It talks about how evil is not necessarily something specific to certain people, but something intrinsic to humanity. Everyone has the capacity for evil.]**

Mal goes in first, promising to try and distract Uma long enough for them to board the ship. Despite Carlos's protests, they all know she's the logical choice. Uma sees her, rightly, as the head of the Rotten Four (formerly Rotten Five, but who's counting?). She is the leader of their gang, their pack.  **[This is true, though to be honest they probably could have sent in Evie, their diplomat.]**

She leaps onto the ship, channeling a bit of her girlfriend's dramatic tendencies, then punches the face of a surprised pirate and grabs his sword.  **[Aw, Malvie is the battle power couple. Ben and Carlos, take a step back. My girls are here to get shit done.)**

Mal catches movement out of the corner of her eye- familiarly colored movement, that is- and smirks as she faces the all-too-familiar captain of the ship.

“Looks like you're shit out of luck, Uma,” Mal says, and charges. Their blades clash, swords glinting in the sun.  **[As much as I hate writing action sequences, I love that sentence. It works so well, flows so prettily.]**

Uma has a few tricks and distractions up her sleeve, however. "You care about the de Vil brat, don’t you?” Uma says, tone harsh, and Mal freezes. Uma can do anything to her, but not to Carlos.  **[Carlos isn’t the only protective one.]** The pirate smirks, blade whirling. “Break his heart, I break yours.”  **[Uma knows how to hit where it hurts- then again, all Isle kids do.]**

“Fuck you,” Mal spits, and Uma smirks.

“By the time I’m done, you’ll wish you'd never left this Isle.”  **[Uma may seem arrogant, but in a timeline that went only slightly different than this one, she would be right.]**

There’s something about Uma’s tone that chills Mal to her core.

“I won't let that happen,” Mal says, eyes starting to glow, but nothing can wipe the smug look off of Uma's face.  **[They are both terrifying- far more than Ben ever could be.]**

“I've got that Prince you're all so attached to,” Uma says, “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

The gang's almost to the gangplank and Mal abandons all sense of decor, seeking a guaranteed way to distract as many pirates as possible.  **[Sometimes you go for subtlety, Jay's specialty, and sometimes you go for dramatics. The key is to tell which is needed, a talent Mal holds in spades.]**

“Gimme Ben, shrimpmeat!” She demands, shouting, but Uma just smiles, pushing towards Mal again.

“Over my dead body, princess,” Uma says, but Mal's already leaping up and onto a set of barrels. She runs, years of honed reflexes keeping her from stumbling as Uma's blade slices open her leggings at the back of her shin and whispers against her skin, and slashes the rope leading to the gangplank, letting Evie, Carlos, and Jay onto the ship. Her friends storm forward, weapons in hand, and she spins back around, searching for Uma, and finds that the pirate is nowhere to be found.  **[I can't write action, but if it's needed I can soldier through. This chapter did take longer to write, though, mostly because of this one damn paragraph.]**

_ Fuck.  _ **[Yeah, she should be worried.]**

They've got to go find her, make sure that she doesn't do anything to Ben. Mal believes in Ben, believes that he has the strength to overcome whatever Una throws at him, but she knows Uma, and she knows Uma’s stash of cursed stones. Who knows what kind of damage Uma might wreak on Ben before they can save him?  **[Mal saw Carlos when he was cursed. She saw the Hell’s Wrath gang when their leader Connor was cursed. She knows what can happen with a curse, and it terrifies the girl with a heart of stone.]**

“Carlos!” She shouts, and he turns to her, firing off a shot at a pirate as he does so. She notes automatically that he's still a perfect shot after months in Auradon- looks like all those video games actually served a purpose. “We've gotta find Ben.”  **[When Carlos isn't the narrator, the story reveals his talents. Carlos is in a very depressed state, and he can't see his own worth. Revealing this in small moments, from more objective points of view than his own, was lots of fun to write.]**

He nods and charges into the fray with her, fighting by her side just like they used to, before Auradon. The two of them move almost like one machine, just as any of the four of them can. They know each others' moves, have each others' fighting styles ingrained in them from years of fighting side by side. They can gauge their partner's next move just as easily as they can plan their own. It's instinct to treat the other person as an extension of their own body, to see the others' hands and weapons as tools of their own to utilize.  **[Members of the VK gangs make terrifying soldiers.]**

Mal sees Harry Hook, Uma's first mate, and zooms in on him. "Right there," she says, making a general gesture in Harry's direction, and Carlos nods as he takes out another pirate.

They wend their way through a mass of pirates before reaching Harry, and between the two of them it's easy to disarm the first mate. Mal holds her blade at the pirate's throat while Carlos slaps his slightshot into his jacket pocket before he grabs the pirate by the collar and yanks him up.  **[This Harry was formulated far before the movie came out. He's far more of a stereotypical thug here than in the movie.]**

"What'd your captain do with Ben?" Carlos demands, and the pirate sneers.

"Uma's gettin ridda 'im, just like any right pirate would," the man says, and seems to take great sadistic pleasure in jerking his finger toward the opposite side of the deck, where... Ben's on the ship's plank, Uma's hand on his jacket the only thing keeping him there.

He sees Uma say something to Ben, and when she pulls away, there's a look of terror on Ben's face that runs entirely foreign to anything Carlos recognizes. It actually takes Carlos a moment to place the expression, so strange to Ben’s face that it is-  **[So, full reveal: I wrote Chapter 9 before Chapter 7 and 8, but I felt there was far more dramatic reward to reveal what happened to Ben after seeing his change in behavior from Carlos’ POV.]**

“Toss him overboard!” Uma shouts, and Ben falls.


	8. Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from song of same name by Daughter.

_ Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette _

_ I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget _

_ And my eyes are damp from the words you left _

_ Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest _

**[I chose the song for this chapter- and this fic- really early on, as the lyrics and the tone really fit Carlos’ mindset. Choosing which particular section of the song to use at this chapter, though, took a lot longer as so many of the lyrics work so well. Then I focused on Carlos’ feelings after the events of this chapter, those of emptiness and rejection, and found that these lyrics work best.]**

He sees Uma say something to Ben, and when she pulls away, there's a look of terror on Ben's face that runs entirely foreign to anything Carlos recognizes. It actually takes Carlos a moment to place the expression, so strange to Ben’s face that it is-  **[This paragraph was written after I wrote Chapter 9, and was actually supposed to parallel the moment when Ben finds out that he’s going to forget Carlos. The expression that Carlos sees is, somewhat obviously, sheer terror, which Carlos has never seen before from Ben as Ben has never been that afraid of anything before. Losing Carlos, though- that’ll destroy him, and he knows it.]**

“Toss him overboard!” Uma shouts, and Ben's tossed forward.

Ben falls, and Carlos does the only thing he can think of: he drops his slingshot, runs, and jumps into the harbor, thanking every god that's ever existed that he begged Doug to teach him how to swim. He strokes downward, chasing after Ben's glowing golden hair, freed from that beanie by the fall. He sees Ben eyes slowly close, the look of terror fading away into unconsciousness, and he focuses on breathing and not panicking. Panicking won't help.  **[Carlos’s anxiety only goes away in life-or-death circumstances, such as the fight on the ship or saving Ben’s life. He’s actually really good at saving people and being the hero; he just doesn’t realize it himself.]**

He gets his arms hooked under Ben's armpits and drags him upward, kicking hard in order to support Ben's weight. For a horrible, breathless moment he's terrified that he won't make it as he's running out of breath, but then they breach the surface and he gulps the necessary oxygen.

Then he hauls Ben's body up onto the shore and himself as well. He drops Ben's limp form on the gravel beside him and struggles to catch his own breath. Being stuck under the ocean for so long without breathing has certainly taken a lot out of him. He turns over, rolling a bit to see how Ben's doing (because Ben's health is the most important, making sure that Ben is okay is far more urgent than taking care of himself), and finds that  _ shit _ , Ben's not breathing.  **[My boy Carlos’s martyr complex is showing up again. Once again, I cannot express just how low his self-esteem is. The fact that he puts Ben’s health so far over his own is so fucking unhealthy and he’s just not processing it.]**

Carlos goes in to perform CPR, but then-

Ben sits up, coughing. Carlos immediately starts pounding on his back, trying to help get the water out, but Ben pushes him away. Carlos frowns, as Ben's never pushed him away before, but gives him room. Getting captured by pirates and nearly drowning can certainly mess with a person's normal reactions, right?  **[Carlos is justifying again, but at least this time it’s in his favor.]**

“Don’t touch me,” Ben spits, and Carlos flinches back. “I don’t want someone like you anywhere near me.”  **[Oh no.]**

Carlos can't process. “Someone  _ like me _ ?”

Ben’s normal fond smile is gone, only a look of cold indifference on his face.

“You’re just like the rest of them,” Ben says, “a villain through and through, and I can't believe that I ever treated you as any but the dirt you are.”  **[Carlos can obviously handle most other Auradonians saying the same thing- it’s what he expects. Ben, though? That’s the one person who he believed, though he never said it aloud, would never blame Carlos for being a villain.]**

It hits like shotgun wound to the heart. “What?” Carlos rasps, shocked. “What the hell do you mean?”

“I realized that this was wrong,” Ben says, “That  _ you’re  _ wrong.”

Carlos has been punched in the chest, his heart’s been ripped out, he  _ can’t believe _ \-  **[Honest to god, this hurt my heart too. (Though I do love the way this sentence flows. It really mirrors a more “stuttering” thought process that people often go through during a panic attack.)]**

“Now, if you don't mind, I need to go find a proper girlfriend,” Ben says, then scrunches up his nose as if sniffing a disgusting smell. “And a towel.”

“ _ Girlfriend _ ?” Carlos squeaks, 'cause not only is Ben dumping him but he's moving onto someone else immediately afterwards. It's obvious that Ben's heart isn't broken like Carlos's, that this relationship clearly means nothing to him if he can move on that quickly.  **[If Carlos was processing properly, without the haze of depression/low self-esteem to work through, he’d realize that this massive change of character in such a short amount of time is just unrealistic. But Carlos is** **_so ready_ ** **to justify the end of their relationship to himself that the possibility of a curse doesn't cross his mind, even though he knows what Uma is capable of.]**

“Yes,” Ben says, “I must go find Audrey and ask her to take me back. After all, I can trust that  _ she  _ won't drug me with a love potion.”  **[Badum-tsh. The other shoe drops. Plot twist to end all plot twists.]**

Carlos gasps as Ben heads over to the car, leaving Carlos standing alone in front of the sinking  _ Vengeance  _ . He couldn’t have just said that. Ben would  _ never  _ be that cruel, even if he’d realized that Carlos didn’t deserve him- he was too kind for that. He wasn’t vindictive, didn’t seek revenge…  **[Though actually serious now, Audrey is absolute worst possible “rebound” for Carlos’ mental status. He knows that he is the exact opposite of everything she is, and that Ben pulled out the “drug me with a love potion” only hammers in the guilt/pain of the situation.]**

Maybe he’d realized that what Carlos and the other Lost kids had done was inexcusable. Maybe he’d come to the same conclusion Carlos had when he’d offered up “the tears of human sorrow”- that a love potion was  _ never  _ the right thing to do. Maybe Ben had decided (justifiably) that a love potion wasn't a good way to start a relationship, especially with a villain's son.  **[Justification is the name of the game when it comes to Carlos’ mental state.]**

“Carlos?” Mal calls from the car, and the boy stiffens, trying to will the tears back into his eyes.

“Coming!” He shouts, and hurries to follow them into the car. His gaze is downcast and he can't bear to look his friends in the eyes as he enters the car. 

He pretends that his heart isn't breaking, that there isn’t a gaping hole in his chest. He flashes his friends a quick smile before heading to the back of the car, as far away from Ben as possible.  **[Okay, totally off topic but I just realize I stuck Ben and Carlos in the same limo on the way back to Auradon. Fuck, that must have been horrible for Carlos.]**

_ What went wrong? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "After that plot twist, I'll be quick to reassure that everything will be explained in the next chapter. Don't worry, beautiful readers, not everything is as it seems!"


	9. Torn Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics are from song of same name by Bastille & GRADES.

_ And it hurts like hell to be torn apart _

_ And it hurts like hell to be thrown around _

_ We were born to be together _

_ Torn apart, torn apart _

**[Three days before I finished writing this chapter, Youtube recommended me this song and I fell in love with it. The lyrics really work for this chapter.]**

Uma storms into the hold, causing Ben to flinch back at the irate expression on her face.

“I'm tired of waiting,” Uma snarls as she slices away at the ropes holding him down, “I'm crushing Mal one way or another and this is easier than trying to kill her." She grabs him by the zipper opening of his jacket and yanks him up the stairs, causing him, to his embarrassment, to nearly trip over his feet as his hands are still bound together.

“Mal?” Ben asks, mouth dry from lack of hydration. "What does she have to do with this?"

“Mal and your brat are here,” Uma informs him, lips twisted into a nasty snarl, and Ben’s heart surges.

"They'll take you down," he says confidently as they reach the deck and she marches him over to the plank. He tries not to be afraid when he looks down at the dark waves beneath him, but his stomach still swoops uncomfortably.  **[Ben’s got a fear of heights. Or maybe a fear of drowning. Both understandable, given the circumstances.]**

"I'll take care of you first," Uma says, and there's a chilling edge to her voice that sends a shiver down Ben's spine.

"What do you mean?" He asks, trying not to sound scared.

“I'm going to make you forget why you ever fell in love with the brat,” Uma whispers, and Ben's heart plummets.

“ _ What _ ?” he gasps, shocked. Then, with conviction: “ _ Fuck  _ no.”

Uma smirks. “Little Princey’s got a potty mouth, does he?” She holds up a polished milky blue stone. “This contains an enchantment that's known as a reciprocal curse. I won't explain the details, but needless to say, you'll hate the brat and fall back in love with your old girlfriend, that princess whose mother Maleficent cursed.”  **[In this ‘verse, Uma is far more of a villain than in the movies (probably because the sequel hadn’t come out yet when I started planning/writing this fic), and she’s a terrifying one at that. Uma here realizes that the most horrible thing you can do is mess with the emotions/mind of somebody.]**

No- that's worse than the worst case scenario that Ben ever imagined. Hate Carlos, the boyfriend Ben loves with every fiber of his being? Get back with Audrey, who despite getting better with Jane and Doug still treats the Lost kids like shit? It sounds like agony for him personally, but what it will do to Carlos...no. He can't let Uma break Carlos's heart, not after Ben finally managed to convince his boyfriend that he has one. He can't let Uma break Carlos again, leave him believing that no one loves him.  **[My boy Ben’s got his priorities straight, thank Merlin- but on the other hand, the advance knowledge of what’s going to happen lends an edge of psychological torture to Ben. Ben is not always the perfect heroic prince- sometimes, he’s the victim. Carlos is not the only person getting screwed in this situation.]**

“I won't let you do that to him,” he growls, “Carlos doesn't deserve-”  **[Personally, I hate using the dialogue tag “growls” but c’mon, he’s the son of the Beast. Not only does the word fit the actual action, but as a quick reference it works really well.]**

“Trust me,” she says, a dark glint in her eyes, “You're going to be thanking me. I'm doing you a favor.”

“Never,” Ben spots, curving his body away from the stone as much as he can, and she smirks.

“Just a wait a few moments after this baby’s in your pocket and you’ll be singing my praises,” Uma says, and doesn’t give him a chance to respond before she shoves it in his pocket. He can feel a fog clouding his mind even as she gestures to her minions. “Toss him overboard!” She shouts and he looks across the ship decks. He sees Carlos, Mal, Evie, and Jay fighting their way to him, Carlos with a... _ slingshot _ ? Carlos knows how to use a slingshot?

(Carlos looks magnificent, honestly. Fierce, competent, and ready to take on the world to fight- it's actually really attractive. Just as attractive as how Carlos usually is, awkward and adorable.)  **[Ben’s mind is being warped and cursed, yet his teenage hormones and bubbling love just can’t resist ogling his boyfriend. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.]**

_I love you_ , he thinks, _and_ _no matter what happens, I know you'll fix this_ , and then he's falling.

He hits the water and his whole body gets slammed with the force of a car. His vision begins to leave, his chest getting tighter and his thoughts blurrier. His mind flips between Carlos and Audrey, hazily sliding between the two until he can’t breathe or figure which one of them he should care about.

Then he sees a familiar white-haired, red-and-black clothed person jump into water above him, and his one last thought is  _ I love Carlos.  _ **[The curse has nearly taken over, but Ben’s true thoughts are still holding true. I love this fool.]**

Then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology for all these short chapters. Following chapters will be longer, but I had to crank these out in order to provide the base for the more plot-heavy chapters.


	10. I Choose You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics are from song of the same name by Sara Bareilles.

_ My whole heart _

_ Will be yours forever _

_ This is a beautiful start _

_ To a lifelong love letter _

_ Tell the world that we finally got it all right _

_ I choose you _

**[This song was originally written as a proposal song by Sara Bareilles. Make of that what you will.]**

Carlos can’t bring himself to look at Ben as they drive back to the Academy. He can only think about everything Ben had promised him months ago, everything he had  _ thought  _ that Ben had forgiven him for.

_ Sitting in the carriage with Ben’s ring on his finger, Carlos knows that he can’t wait until after the Coronation to give Ben the counterpotion. Even if it means Ben rejecting him here and now, means Ben taking back his ring and his declarations of love, means having to give up the wand, Carlos can’t live one more moment of this lie. _

_ (The perfect time to put everything on the line: right before the moment that could have given him power over his mother for the first time in his life.  _ Of course  _ it has to be now.)  _ **[You gotta love how shit the timing of Carlos’ altruism is.]**

_ “Here,” Carlos says, handing over the cupcake, “I have a gift for you as well. For strength during your coronation and all.” _

_ Ben smiles. “Thanks, darling.” Then he bites into it. _

_ Carlos watches with bated breath, unsure of what to do. Should he fight? Give up and beg forgiveness? Run away? “How do you feel?” He asks semi-desperately, wanting to know if Ben’s going to order him out of the carriage now.  _ **[Carlos has spent his entire life learning to brace himself for the worst possible outcome- why stop now, when he’s self-sabotaging the only relationship that’s ever made him happy?]**

_ “I’m not sure,” Ben says with a shrug. “We should probably give the anti-love potion a minute to take affect.”  _ **[This fucking typo. I** **_know_ ** **the difference between effect and affect and I fucked it up. I take full-credit for this shit, even if I absolutely hate myself for it.**

_ All the breath leaves Carlos’s lungs. “What?” He gapes as Ben dissolves into laughter. “You knew?” _

_ “Figured it out. The pool at our date- the water’s enchanted. It washed off the spell-” _

_ “So you’ve been pretending since then?” Carlos’s heart sinks. It’s all been a lie. Everything Ben’s said, that kiss after Ben surfaced from the pool- _

_ “-But I didn’t realize what had happened until I went to the nurse’s office, wondering why I felt so much lighter, and she discovered residue of the enchantment on me. I didn’t feel any different towards you when I came out of the pool, Carlos- it was just as if a weight on my shoulders had been lifted and I could breathe freely again.” Ben gives Carlos a brilliant smile. “The love potion made no difference other than to bring my feelings to the surface. I liked you before the love potion, after I came out of the pool, and certainly after I just ate this cupcake-”  _ **[Okay, so the movie never gave a full explanation as to how Ben figured out there was a love potion on him. If the potion had washed off and he had liked her to begin with, then he wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference or know the origin. This is an explanation decent enough to appease my irritation.]**

_ Carlos leans over and kisses Ben, not entirely believing his luck. He can’t believe that this Prince, this gorgeous, wonderful, kind,  _ good  _ boy likes him back. Even when Ben brings his hand up to Carlos’ cheek to caress it, to bring him in closer, Carlos can’t quite believe it.  _ **[I’m pretty sure this is the first kiss Carlos initiates, and this is pretty important. Carlos knows his crush is mutual now- this gives him the kind of confidence he never could have had before.]**

_ Well, until they’re broken apart by Dude snuffling between their laps. They break apart, laughter shared between them. “I still can’t believe you actually brought him!” Ben says, still chuckling, and Carlos nods.  _ **[To be honest, I kept forgetting about Dude when writing this story. It took me an entire hour to rewrite this scene, as I had to keep pausing and rewinding this three minute clip of the movie, and by the end I had a bit of writer’s block. My dog ran into the room and I got this idea for a bit of humor.]**

_ Carlos is just as bad, unable to keep from laughing freely now that the weight of expected disappointment is off his chest. “Why  _ wouldn’t  _ I bring him? You said it was fine, and he’s practically a member of the family now!”  _ **[The family- Carlos is including Ben in that term. That’s pretty significant when you consider Carlos has only ever called Jay, Evie, Caleb, and Mal his family. It takes him so long to trust people.]**

_ Ben leans in and drops a quick kiss on Carlos’s cheek. “You’re adorable,” he says, and Carlos doesn’t think he’ll be able to survive much longer of this. _

_ “And you’re handsome.” _

_ “You’re handsome, too,” Ben is hasty to add, and Carlos laughs.  _ **[I fucking love how happy they can be the few times I keep the angst off of them. They function and flirt well together.]**

_ “Thanks,” Carlos says as the carriage rolls to a stop. All of his insecurities threaten to surface as he pauses on his way to scoop up Dude into his arms. He stops and leans back, realizing that as the Prince’s plus one (Plus one- no, that’s not quite right. ‘Boyfriend’ is more like it, and  _ gods  _ does that word feel amazing) he’ll have to play the part of a proper noble. _

_ When Ben stands up, he offers out his arm to Carlos and Carlos slips his arm through Ben’s, taking a deep breath as he does so. Dude bumps against their ankles and Ben smiles down at the dog.  _ **[The moment when I threw all of my childhood dreams of princes and princesses into my fanfic. Carlos deserves to be treated like a king, and Ben is perfectly willing to provide that.]**

_ “Looks like we both have a plus one,” Ben jokes, and Carlos grins.  _ **[This boy has such a shit sense of humor. I love him.]**

How can Ben be  _ this  _ perfect?

_ Right, focus. Carlos pays attention to the walk in front of them, the blue carpet leading to the doors of the castle and, more importantly, Ben’s parents. “So, we walk in down the main corridor, then I go off and follow a page to my spot?” _

_ Ben nods, smiling to the trumpeters and the cameras that flash as they walk past. Somehow (probably due to a lifetime of training) he manages to split his attention equally between the citizens and Carlos, alternating fluidly between the two. “Chip’ll show you the exact spot. I believe it's the closest you can get to the dais without being my parents or godparents.”  _ **[Is a similar line to this in the original film? I can’t quite remember, to be honest.]**

_ Carlos swallows- he hadn't expected to be  _ that  _ close. He's happy that he'll have Dude to help curb his anxiety. “And Evie, Mal, and Jay?” _

_ “Front row in the balcony,” Ben recites instantly, “Perfect viewing spot.” _

_ Anxiety squeezes at Carlos's chest. “So far away,” he mutters, and Ben moves his finger just enough to brush reassuringly against Carlos's arm.  _ **[Finding out that Ben actually likes him back seems like a perfect resolution, but in the end it doesn’t really change much of any of Carlos’ anxiety problems.]**

_ “Hey,” Ben says softly as they start up the stairs, “No need to worry. I'll be right near if you need anything.”  _ **[Aw, they’re adorable…**

**...Watch me fuck it up.]**

_ Carlos flashes him a grateful smile. “Much appreciated.” _

_ “And then afterwards we’ll get to dance,” Ben says, brilliant grin back in place. _

_ “I can dance, but not the waltz,” Carlos admits, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from remedial etiquette class, it’s that.”  _ **[But he** **_can_ ** **freestyle and dance hip-hop very well.]**

_ “I’ll show you,” Ben says, “Don’t worry. I’ll lead.” _

_ And then, suddenly, they’re standing next to the King and Queen. Ben gives Carlos’s hand one last reassuring squeeze before letting go and going to stand by his father. _

_ “Your Majesties,” Carlos says, and bows. Before he’s even straightened up properly he’s hastening to speak: “I’m sorry about what happened with my friends on Family Day. We were a bit hasty in our reactions-” _

_ Queen Belle puts a hand on Carlos’s shoulder, cutting him off. “It’s okay, Carlos,” she says with a smile. “You were provoked. It was instinct. As long as you all keep trying to improve, then that’s all we can ask for.”  _

_ King Adam grins. “And as long as you keep this one around,” he says, and gestures to Ben. “He jumped to your defense and made us all confront any prejudices we didn’t realize we had.”  _ **[Things I needed in the movie Number 117 of who knows how many: that Belle and Adam never apologize for their behavior at Family Day, and their actions in this story are actually slightly improved on the movie.**

**(Also, I still hate Adam. Fuck him.)]**

_ “He did that, did he?” Carlos asks, turning wide eyes toward Ben. _

_ Ben nods, and Carlos smiles. His eyes are shining as he says proudly, “He’ll make a wonderful King.”  _ **[Carlos is already so in love with this stupid, heroic boy, but he also has such faith in Ben that he doesn’t have in himself.]**

_ Ben gives him a brilliantly sincere grin that lights Carlos's world up, head to toe. _

_ "Sir?" A voice asks, and Carlos turns to see Chip. "It's time to go." Carlos gives the man a small smile as the courtier offers out a hand to escort Carlos to the hall. _

_ "See you afterwards," Ben says, and though Carlos has only ever heard the phrase as a question but from Ben it sounds like a guarantee.  _ See you afterwards _ \- it's a promise that Ben won't give him up.  _ **[I love the hope I give Carlos, especially as the reader knows what’s about to go down during the coronation.]**

_ Carlos nods and flashes Ben a small but fond smile. "Afterwards." _

_ And then he goes. _

_ (In a few minutes, everything will nearly fall apart. Mal will grab the wand, desperation in her face, and for a moment Carlos will look at Ben and see nothing but betrayal. _

I’m sorry,  _ he’ll want to plead,  _ I never wanted to hurt you,  _ but before he has a chance to start crying for forgiveness Mal will stop them. _

_ She’ll make her speech, the one about goodness and love, about searching for new beginnings and their own happily-ever-afters. She’ll look at Carlos and tell him that he doesn’t have to listen to his mother, that he can love whoever he wants, and Carlos’s smile will nearly burst off of his face. _

_ And when they all put their hands together, vowing to be good, Ben will add his hand over Carlos’s. He’ll look at him with pride in his eyes and when Carlos leans his head against Ben’s shoulder he’ll feel nothing but relief.)  _ **[I wrote this summary before I’d even planned the giant flashback chapter to the coronation, much less started writing it. It is far less angsty than I remember it being.]**


	11. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics are from song of same name by Ed Sheeran.

_ 'Cause baby you look happier, you do _

_ My friends told me one day I'll feel it too _

_ And until then I'll smile to hide the truth _

_ But I know I was happier with you _

**[To be honest, this song is one of the best fitting ones that is on my playlist for this fic. It really works but lyrics and mood-wise for Carlos during the Curse!arc, and I just love this song on its own as well.**

The car ride is tense, with Ben sitting near the front of the limo and Carlos at the back. The other Lost kids sit in the middle, talking about plans once they get back to Auradon and cheering over taking out Una’s pride and joy, her ship. Carlos tries to process, tries to understand what's happening, but he fails. He fails every time, because Ben doesn't act like this, he'd thought that Ben  _ loved  _ him-  **[I'm pretty sure that this is the first moment Carlos admits that he thinks his feelings are truly reciprocated, that he loved Ben and thought that Ben loved him back.]**

They arrive at the Academy and Ben casts a dismissive look over them. “Well, we're back to the Academy, and thank the gods- that Isle was atrocious. Now, if you  _ villains  _ don’t mind, I must go greet my girlfriend,” Ben says, then exits the car gracefully and heads over to the crowd of students milling about waiting for the King.  **[Okay, so what’s happening is absolutely horrifying, yeah, but wow, Cursed!Ben is just so extra.]**

Evie, Jay, and Mal sit there, stunned, for a few moments before simultaneously turning to look at Carlos, who sits hunched over in the back.

“What the  _ fuck  _ is Ben talking about?” Jay asks, and Carlos looks up, despair clearly painted across his face.

“He said that he doesn’t trust me, that he realized that dating me was wrong. He said that I was the son of the villain and that he’d realized that he couldn’t trust me after the love potion.”

“That doesn’t sound like Ben-” Evie starts, but Carlos cuts her off, slowly unbuckling and standing up.

“You should have seen him, Evie. The look on his face, the cold determination in his eyes- he meant every word he said. I know him well enough to know that.”  **[He knows** **_Cruella_ ** **enough to know that people are capable of that. Carlos is so used to his mother speaking those words, talking like that, that he doesn't process that it would be strange for Ben, someone who actually cares about him, to talk like that.]**

The other Lost kids exchange worried looks as Carlos climbs past them to exit the car.

“There's no way-” Evie starts before being interrupted by Jay.

“-Ben fucking loves Carlos. There's gotta be something-”

Mal has a devious glint in her eye. “Let me handle this,” she says, voice calmer than it has any right to be, “I think I can figure this out.”  **[Mal is much more of a leader in this version of events than she is in the movies. I’m borrowing a lot from her characterization in the opening scenes of the first movie as well as the scenes in between the romantic plot in the movies- the scene where they first make the love potion, when they’re having the video call with their parents, etc. However, she is far more ruthless in this version of events. She knows what she wants, what she needs to get done, and she does it. And this also means taking care fo the few people she cares about.]**

Evie and Jay exchange a glance before nodding. “Okay, fine,” Jay says, “Just-”

“-Be kind. He's hurt and we don't want him to be in anymore pain than he already is.”

Mal flashes them what's supposed to be a reassuring smile. “I got this,” she says, and then she heads out of the car as well.  **[Mal does not exactly have a good track record with feelings, but as is later revealed with the story about the time Carlos was cursed, she can sometimes do pretty well when she tries.]**

Mal finds Carlos standing in front of the Beast fountain, leaning against its pedestal and looking at the crowd gathering in front of the Academy. He watches as Ben kisses Audrey in front of everyone, villain attire somehow working with the crowd of pastels surrounding them. Only Doug, Lonnie, and Jane give Carlos sympathetic looks. Chad’s smirking, which is nothing new, but then Ben pulls away and gives Audrey the most brilliant smile. He looks so happy, no tension in his shoulders, and…  **[The original draft of this scene didn’t include Lonnie, because the original draft of this story didn’t include the OT3. Just a fun fact.]**

“Don’t you think he looks happier?” The words slip out without preamble, without any thought, and Mal’s stern expression quickly shifts into one of horror.  **[You can definitely tell what song I was listening to while writing this chapter.]**

“Happier, Carlos?  _ Happier  _ ?” Her voice is shocked. “How the hell could being with Audrey make him  _ happier  _ ?”  **[Mal** **_does_ ** **have feelings, just like I was saying. It just takes a lot to bring them out. Watching Carlos crash like this- that works.]**

Carlos gestures helplessly at the crowd around Ben and Audrey. “They’re all smiling at him, looking at him and Audrey like they’re a fairy tale, like they’re everything good. They  _ never  _ looked at the two of us like that.”  **[To be honest, this is not just Carlos’s depression and low self-esteem speaking. This is an honest critique of Auradon and the way that, no matter how much Carlos and the VKs do to try and reform themselves, they will never see the VKs as equal to Auradonians. And that’s fucking horrible, that such prejudice can exist against children just because of their parents’ actions.]**

Mal’s expression softens. “We don’t need fairy tales anymore, Carlos. Everyone’s parents proved how fucked those ideas were the first time ‘round.”  **[And bing-bada-boom, there’s the theme of this story that gets far more emphasized as this series goes on.]**

“But he deserves that happiness, Mal,” Carlos says, setting his jaw and turning to her. “And I want him to have that.”

“But he doesn't have  _ you  _ , Carlos-” Mal starts, horrified, but Carlos cuts her off.

“Doesn't matter. He's far happier there with her than he ever was with me. What does it matter if the focus of any happiness is shifted, that it's on someone else? As long as he's happy, I'm happy. Or, at least I will be. And so should you.” He turns and starts to walk away, wanting to leave this conversation before he starts crying-  **[To apply a quote from one of my favorite fanfics of all time, “The truth is, Carlos has and always will absolutely wipe the floor with them in terms of self-sacrifice.” Carlos’s martyr complex is deep and pretty damaging, but the thing is he truly will do anything he possibly can to make the people he loves happy.]**

“He’s cursed, Carlos,” Mal says suddenly, and Carlos’s heart stops. He turns back slowly and finds Mal with tears in her eyes for the first time since he's known her.   **[This is the only time in this entire series that Mal comes even close to crying. Take note.]**

(There are the bare bones of a smirk on her lips, though, so it's not  _ that _ much of a worry.)

“ _ What _ ?”

There’s something satisfied in her tone when she answers, “He’s cursed. All the usual signs are there: in his body, his aura, and his behavior.”  **[To be honest, I tried to figure out a way to stretch out the curse to be more anonymous for longer, but this series’ characterization of Mal is far too competent to let it just slip by.]**

Something heavy thuds in Carlos’s chest, something he might have identified as hope if he didn’t have Ben’s words ringing in his ears, every one of his worst fears and insecurities put to his ex-boyfriend’s voice.

_ This is wrong- you’re wrong. Son of a villain. Can’t be trusted.  _ She  _ won’t drug me with a love potion.  _ **[Carlos’ brain is fucked up.]**

“You can’t be sure,” he hedges, and she cocks an eyebrow.

“I was raised on the study of magic, Carlos. I spent every waking moment perfecting the casting and detection of spells, hexes, and curses. I can identify the effects of nearly every potion in existence and cast nearly every spell a faery of my power level can. And besides, I identified  _ your  _ curse, didn’t I?”  **[I think this is the first reference to Carlos’ curse, but I’m not entirely sure. Either way, BAMF!Mal is making an appearance and I’m really happy.]**

He swallows. “You did.”

She gives him a small smile. “Then you can believe me now when I say that he's cursed, okay?”

He nods. “Okay, fine.” He casts a despairing look at Ben, laughing and surrounded by a crowd of happy people. “What do we have to do?” He feels a bit guilty about peeling that happiness away from Ben, but Carlos knows that Ben doesn’t deserve to live an artifice such as that, no matter what happiness he may seem to be experiencing.  **[Carlos has a martyr complex, but that does not mean that he’ll let Ben suffer under a curse even if it makes him happy. Mind-altering curses are the most taboo kind of magic, whether in Auradon or on the Isle, and for good reason.]**

“We tell his parents,” she says, and Carlos blanches.

“His parents?" He sputters. “What? You can't-”  **[Carlos’ courage does not match his selflessness.]**

“He's cursed, Carlos. Any happiness he feels is false, and you know that. We have to tell them so that we can warn them."

He bites his lip, taking a deep, calming breath before saying, "Okay, fine. You're right. We'll tell 'em."  **[But even though he’s not too brave, he just needs a bit of a push from his friends.]**

She smirks. "I'll go get the others, and then we'll head to the castle."

Carlos glances over at Ben and the crowd of people around him and Audrey. "We're just going to leave him there?"  **[He doesn’t want to leave Ben, especially now that he knows that he’s cursed. It doesn’t feel right.]**

"He'll be fine for a few hours, Carlos- we're in Auradon. Nothing will hurt him here."

He nods. "Right."

And then they head back to the limo so they can head to the castle.  **[Okay, let me level with you- the ending to this chapter is pretty abrupt, and that’s mostly because I couldn’t figure out how to transition into the castle scene easily. I eventually just gave up because I wanted to move on to the next chapter and because I wanted you guys to have this part of the story.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My phone broke a few days ago so updates may be a bit sporadic. Sorry in advance!
> 
> (Also, sorry for the crap ending. I just wanted to get this finished and posted.)
> 
> **[And oh, look- I actually addressed the bad ending in my original author's note. Guess the new commentary was pointless.]**


End file.
